I know a lot of people more fortunate than I have their fwbs turn into relationships, but that has never happened to me. I tried a few times and nothing outside of sex ever happened. I have honestly never been in a real relationship before.
Men seem to only offer sexual relationships to me. Some people can easily say it’s because I’m young (Early 20s) but there are so many women my age in relationships. I even posted my picture in a subreddit to see if it were my looks, but I’m assuming that’s not the case either. I thought it was because I had too high standards, but I have been talking to this guy who’s less conventionally attractive (we met from school) and he said I was barely attractive and annoying. Also he only wanted sex. This has really been killing my self esteem because nobody wants anything serious with me! It has happened so many times that a guy will say he wants nothing serious with me and then boom jump into something with a prettier/more interesting girl.
I’m honestly not sure what to do. I have tried all the dating apps. I have met people in person or in school or during internships and nothing. I have tried talking to all sorts of guys (in terms of appearance, profession, personality, etc) and nothing. I have even tried the reddit dating subs and literally I have gotten the same results.
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I’m at my wits end. I’m sorry if I sound desperate btw, there is way more to my life than dating or romance, but I really want to get to the bottom as to why. I feel I have a personality and hobbies and things to offer, but no man ever sees that from me. It just hurts that I am a piece of ass to every man. It’s sickening. I have tried waiting for sex, but when I don’t put out, they just ghost me.
6 comments
Honestly, I will keep at it. You’re still young and if you want a long term relationship keep at it. Don’t fall for lies when people say they want a relationship only to ghost you later after having sex.
I feel you I was objectified like I this as well but what I did was witheld held for 7-8 dates inorder to see if they would stick with me or not. And sure enough they didn’t they were with me for the sex. I would honestly try witholding sex for some dates to see if ppl enjoy ur company. Good luck
Hey there. You’re pretty young. No need to rush. I would work on yourself, great make up, clothes, get fit and put yourself in environments where real MEN are. Usually older guys have gone through the “rack up the bodies” phase and are confident and stable enough to want to entertain a more serious relationship. There’s the no bs truth.
Hmm. Are you in college?
If people on a subreddit overwhelmingly said it wasn’t your looks and if you truly lowered your standards, then my best guess is that it’s your personality. My best advice would be to find hobbies you genuinely enjoy and meet people who have a lot in common with you and/or similar personalities through those hobbies. Good luck
If you really want to know what it might be that could be hurting your luck in love, I think it’s always more useful to survey close friends who have experience dating (men and women) who you know will give you their honest opinion and feel like they can observe objectively about your situation. You want to get as many perspectives as you can and try to find common themes to target first.
Strangers can comment on your physical appearance and have a surface level/general understanding about things to do and avoid but your situation is going to have its own nuances and you’re not going to really share your text conversations, how you speak, your hobbies, your life situation, etc online to be able to paint the full picture.