I’m usually an extremely horny person and I don’t feel like I’ve had this before
I never really have an issue with cumming either
But since we started I’ve been finding it so difficult to get into the mood and when we do I’ll usually get tired and soft before I can cum
My wife is getting frustrated and I’m not sure what to do really
I think it’s probably anxiety
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I’ve heard this is a thing! One of my friends told me that it’s a bit of a mental shift after 15-20 years of trying to avoid pregnancy to all of a sudden it being ok. And there’s no switch to flip to tell your mind that all of a sudden unprotected sex is alright.
My brother went through this when he and his wife were trying to conceive. He said it became more like a duty than a sexual act. They ended up having to use in vitro. They do have twin girls now but it was a long and arduous road!
Pretend you don’t actually want to have kids so that fucking becomes sexy and “risky” again
>I think it’s probably anxiety
Ding ding ding. Sex used to be this fun thing that you did for pleasure with the end goal of having an orgasm. Now your end goal is to get her pregnant. It’s a conscious thing. You’re putting pressure on yourself and that has the negative effects of killing your sex drive.
Instead of looking at it as trying to get her pregnant, look at it as you guys are having sex and *not trying not to* get pregnant.
In my experience, the best way to make babies is to not try, lol. Our first was a happy little accident (4 years of NEVER pulling out … you could say we were actively not trying). Our second was planned, and it put a lot of pressure on me to perform, but man when we were going at it based on an ovulation schedule my fiancé got pregnant in less than a month of trying. But the mental game certainly made it difficult to just enjoy it. The trying part isn’t my favorite … but the worry free nuts in the following 9 months were fantastic.
Very common. Sex becomes a chore and objective, not for pleasure. Get away together for some romance, concentrate on foreplay (obviously having your ejaculation inside her)… it’ll work a lot better. My husband cut some Cialis pills into pieces, made a big difference.
Understandable. It definitely is anxiety and the feeling that you aren’t ready yet. If this has been happening for over a week or two then I would suggest taking a break and having time to collect yourself and get yourself ready for what could possibly happen. It’s a lot to take in. Its good to consider your partner’s feelings but its also very important to consider yours. If you do end up talking with her let her know this isn’t you saying you don’t want to but you communicating you need a break or some time to get it together or collect your thoughts, (or whatever way you want to put it.)