I had asked my boyfriend if he wanted to get something to eat, he told me to meet him at x spot in the university campus from where we could go together to some place.
We both reached the spot on time.. Just as we were about to leave together, a classmate of his jogged up to him and asked for a minute. I stepped away and let them talk. They were discussing about some guy things, some fight that had occured 2 nights ago, nothing serious or urgent.
I was standing, with a bag full of books over my shoulder, in the humid heat FOR 30 MINUTES.. and he NEVER once even glanced at me to say something along the lines of “just a sec babe” or “you go ahead, I’ll catch up” or anything. He just kept on talking, not even acknowledging that I was standing five steps away waiting for him to finish.
Ultimately I decided I had waited enough and started walking away. He ran after me and said “sorry, he just kept going on and on… where we going?” I said I was going home, wasn’t even hungry anymore and just kept walking away.
He then called me and demanded why I was getting so pissed over such a small thing and that he has also waited for me when I took too long to get ready to go out. I told him that infact I had waited for him several times too, but this was not the same.
Just yesterday we had a little arguement and I had told him that whenever someone else comes around he completely forgets about me. He said that I had a problem with him talking to his friends, I said that’s not the case… I just want to be a priority to him.
We got into a heated arguement and I broke up with him even though he didn’t want to, he texted me that it was very illogical of me to be breaking up over such a small thing. I blocked him after that but he has kept trying to call me all day.
tl;dr: he made me wait 30 min, because he was having a conversation with someone. I broke up because of it. He is trying to reach me. Should I apologize and get back together with him?
28 comments
Why couldn’t you have interrupted him and reminded him that you were there? Or told him that you were going to the place and you’d see him there?
I mean, its rude that he got so distracted but you could have said something too.
You’re too immature to be in a relationship.
Why are you asking us, you broke up with him. Is he a good boyfriend or was this the metaphorical straw.
Honestly, you told him the day before that it bothers you for him to completely forget about you. Which sounds like happens a lot, and he blew off your concern instead of trying to tackle that problem with you and find a solution that works for both of you. He didn’t even try to understand your point, and I’m not sure if you would’ve his had he bothered to explain that he’d like for his friends to remain a priority too. Miscommunication happens, and it’s not only your fault. I think this particular instance just showed you that it’s clicked that you will not be happy in this relationship long term, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. You aren’t obligated to get back together with anyone unless you’re absolutely sure it’s what you want to do. You could even just wait awhile, take a break and reconsider everything, and come back to the discussion with a fresh mind. I don’t think you’re wrong to do this, because everyone has a final straw in a relationship and this just happened to be yours.
Didn’t you post 18 days ago that he’s not your type, you don’t feel compatible with him, and don’t understand why you love him in another post? Sounds like you’re using this small thing as an excuse ro get out of “feeling trapped” as you said. Maybe he deserves being told that instead of you using this small thing as an excuse and leaving him wondering why this happened.
Sounds like he was a little inconsiderate, but you seem extremely high maintenance.
If you’ll drop a 1 year relationship over this, maybe the relationship isn’t all that important to you.
It sounds to me like your problem isn’t waiting 30 minutes. It is feeling like he prioritizes others over you inappropriately. His actions reinforced the conversation you had the previous day. But only you can determine if he does or if you are expecting too much.
To be clear: you can break up at any time and for any reason that suits you. And if you do not feel prioritized, then you are right to not continue in the relationship.
It’s funny because most breakups are over some completely random shit like this. But the reason isn’t the real *reason*, it’s just the final fight where one person decides ‘I just can’t fucking *even* with you anymore.”
If a fight over something small can go completely off the rails, generally it’s because something is fucked in the relationship.
Follow your first mind and stay broken up
Everyone seems to be dog piling on you in the comments but they are missing the point.
You don’t need a valid or justifiable reason to break up with someone, you decide if you want to be in a relationship and if for whatever reason you want to end it is okay and doesn’t require further explanation.
That said I personally wouldn’t have done it that way but it’s not my relationship so that’s irrelevant.
“he NEVER once even glanced at me to say something along the lines of “just a sec babe” or “you go ahead, I’ll catch up” or anything.”
What was stopping you from saying ” Hey, it’s hot out here. I’m going to head towards XYZ. Meet me there when your done”? You could have prevented standing there for 30 minutes just as easily as he could.
Seems like you were already checked out of the relationship OP I think you should’ve said something after like 5 mins but you can breakup over anything tbh.
You already told him you feel like he forgets about you when ather people are around THE DAY BEFORE. This should’ve been fresh on his mind.
Honestly I totally understand you and see your logic! I’m huge on time management, if i’m hungry and we’ve planned on a time and then i have to stand there and wait in the fricken heat while he chatted to someone like we didn’t have somewhere to be, I’d be pissed lol
Your right, he should have told his friend he’d call him later because you guys were needing to be somewhere or he should of told you to go ahead and he’d catch up. Its the lack of courtesy and care.
Maybe give it a week and see if things have calmed down, otherwise sending big hugs!
So, you just stood there and got more mad but didn’t say a word?
You’re an adult. Use your damn words before getting so angry you break up with someone.
This could go both ways honestly.
Could it be his fault? You bet. It seems he didn’t interrupt his friend to let them know that he was on his way to lunch with you and that he would love to catch up later because he already has plans with you.
Could it be your fault. Sure. You left his side so he was stuck in a conversation with a chatty person who he couldn’t politely get away from. If you had remained by his side, which would have been the normal response in that situation, you may have recognized he was trying to get away but he couldn’t find a way how, and you could have politely interjected that you both have an important event to get to.
Sounds like breaking up is for the best, but I’m not sure you get to blame it on him anymore than on yourself.
He had a lucky escape. Leave him be
Reading the comments and given your history, I would say NO. You are not wrong. It’s not like it was a very critically important conversation he has to have with the other guy. He was compromised with you and instead of telling his friend “sorry, I’m busy right now. Can we talk later?” Or “I’ll call you back, later”. He just ignored that you were there, like nothing was happening. To make matters worse, you had an argument about the same attitude the night before and he brushed it off? No, girl! Your time matters. He won’t give you your time back. Better he respects it or go and find someone else to disrespect.
My ex used to do a similar thing to me. Whenever he’d run into somebody he knew while we were out, he would have a full conversation with them without ever once acknowledging my presence. No introduction, nothing. It was rude and annoying. I don’t blame you for getting upset.
I sense that it wasn’t just about the 30 minutes, or even mostly. It was the straw that broke the camels back, not the entire pile
Nah I kinda get it. Everyone’s like yeah you should’ve said something, but especially when you’ve just had an argument about this topic the day before, I get being pissed at the same thing repeating once again. You didn’t break up because of this one thing, it’s an underlying issue that you’ve communicated, and this may have proved to you that it likely won’t change, so breaking up, especially when it makes you this mad when it happens, seems logical
I’m guessing this incident was just the final straw for you. Trust your gut.
Girly, my advice to you is to grow the fuck up. Was he a bit of an ass for making you wait? Yes. But breaking up with someone over something like that is so immature. I’m guessing that there was already and underlying issue of you wanting to break up with him and that this whole thing would justify it in your mind, but imagine how you’re fucking him up by breaking up over small shit like this. He’ll contemplate what would’ve happened if he just didn’t talk to the other person, he’ll feel insecure in his next relationship every single time he talks to someone else while his partner is waiting on him. You both deserve better, but he deserves it more.
Well he need to look out for you. He needed to treat you with respect and make sure you are well while talking to his friend in the heat.
It could be that he thought you will understand and wasnt planning to stand that long in the sun himself which is logical.
I just feel he should protect you as a girl and explain to the friend that he need to go and cant allow the fact that his girl is suffering and standing here…..
I think also that the communication captured his mind….happend to me a few times and wasnt planned and felt terrable…..
I can empathize with what seems like a last straw-type situation. He sounds inconsiderate and, no, it shouldn’t be on you to bear the burden of teaching him how to be polite.
Stay broken up and find someone better for you that you’ll be happier with.
If you got with him when you was 19, I’m sorry but your boyfriend is a straight up creep
Honestly, due to one of the highest upvoted, I ended up reading your post previously. So you already felt unsatisfied with him from uh 19 days earlier at least. Also, you mentioned how his humor is not compatible to yours. Then now you wrote: “I just want to be a priority to him.” So you also feel that you’re not a priority to him. Those are valid reasons to break up.
The truth is, no matter what he said, you can break up with him for ANY REASON. ANY REASON. If you don’t want to be with him for whatever reason, do break up.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s an asshole move to make someone wait for you? OP had plans with this person, so they should take precedent over anybody else. I highly doubt this wasn’t a conversation that could wait until later time, and I honestly wouldn’t want to interject either because it’s rude to me.