TL;DR!
Today my gf told me this both 18
Hello im 18m and my gf is 18f
We have been togther 9 months. I really do love her and allways loved her.
Last 2 Days she was distant from me and it made me feel like shit. She Message me today and we had a smalltalk. I told her that I didnt expect her to write me cause she was so harah too me wenn I told her that she was distant.
After some time my gf sent me this.
Here’s the direct translation:
“Ever since we got together, everything has become different for me. I have always felt mistreated before, but before I got to know you, I finally realized what it’s like to be truly content on my own. I’ve never been so happy before and never really wanted to be in a relationship, but then I met you. In the first moment, everything seemed so perfect. I still remember how excited I was every time I got to see you, and I know exactly what a terrible feeling it was because I missed you so much every day. I have never been so deeply in love in my life. But soon, I began to notice that you simply couldn’t provide what I needed, that you couldn’t give me what a relationship should actually have. But I didn’t want to accept that because I was wearing my rose-tinted glasses. You hurt me so many times, and I always acted as if nothing had happened because I needed you; I became emotionally dependent on you and neglected my feelings and myself. And eventually, it just became too much for me. You lied to me about important things; you didn’t put in any effort to plan anything together, I always had to do everything on my own. You neglected me on my birthday, and I noticed more and more that you didn’t really know me. You gave me a little bag and a lip gloss for my birthday, and I was happy about it, but it felt so impersonal; you didn’t even write anything… You promised me things repeatedly that you didn’t keep, and it hurt, but I never told anyone because I didn’t want anyone to think badly of you. So, I suppressed everything until the barrel eventually overflowed, and we fought for months… I built up a treasure during this time, but I also lost so many feelings. Yet, I kept trying. Sometimes, things seemed to get better, sometimes less, but it never felt the same as when we first got to know each other. I’m increasingly happy when I can have some distance at times. Before the vacation, we had another big fight, and I told my mom about it. I didn’t have any energy left to deal with it during the vacation, but I knew that if I didn’t come with you, things would get worse, and I was also afraid because during those two weeks, no one would have vacation except you, which means I would be alone in my room for two weeks surrounded by all this wreckage. So, I decided to act as if nothing happened during the vacation. The vacation went well between us. It was amazing. Not just with you, but also with your family. You even gave me flowers. But when we were going back, you wanted to convince me again to come to you, but you knew exactly that I needed time for myself, my hobbies, my friends, or just some time alone in my own bed with my TV. And in some way, I just don’t have time for myself anymore. You expect me to be with you from Friday to Sunday, and you even make it difficult for me if I want to leave on Sunday evening. It’s too much for me right now. I don’t know when you changed like this. Suddenly, you put so much effort, you plan things for us, you look after me, and you always write back right away, but I just can’t feel the same way anymore. I wonder why you’re doing all this just now? Everything you’re doing for me now is exactly what I needed all along, but now I can’t even enjoy cuddling with you because it doesn’t feel right. I feel so terrible because you’re so good to me at the moment, but I simply can’t feel what I want to feel. You have specific plans for the future, but I have completely different ones, but I can’t tell you because I’m afraid of hurting you. The same goes for having children. I don’t want kids. I always say I don’t know yet because I’m afraid of your reaction, but deep down, I know that I don’t want them. I’m afraid we’ll argue, and your parents will get involved, and I’m scared of what they’ll think of me. I can’t tell you how I feel because I’m afraid of how you’ll see me. I’m attached to you and can’t imagine breaking up, but everything is just too much right now. I miss my friends, my family, and my free time, even though everything should be right in front of me, but our relationship hinders me from so many things. I think I’m just struggling to find a good balance without hurting anyone. I know that what I’ve said hurts you, but I can’t hold it back anymore. My nerves are at the end, and I don’t dare to tell you that I sometimes need a weekend without you because I’m afraid of your reaction.”
I dont want it to end. I always had hope for us too cause I really love her shes so gorgeous. So this text orgin was written in a other language so I used a bot to write it in english.
Thanks for all the help and advise much appreciated.