So today at work there was this girl I was talking with and we were just having a casual conversation about work. Soon we parted ways and we would continue to do our jobs, later while I was sweeping she came up to me and started talking to me, also about work but I noticed that she was sticking around for longer and, again, after we finished talking we went out separate ways.
Fast forward a couple of hours and it was time to go home, while I was heading out she saw me and decided to talk to me, still about work but this time she offered her Instagram, I don’t have instagram but I have discord so I gave her that. Soon after talking for a bit I found out that she goes to the same subway station that I go to and I offered to walk together and she accepted, while we were walking she asked if I played any video games, I said yes then we started talking about video games until we reached the station, it was time to go and then we said bye to each other not before she said that we should play games together sometime.
So yeah, I think I made my first friend and I don’t know what to do now, I’m kinda nervous about talking to her as, again, I haven’t had any friends in years and I’m basically and alien when it comes to talking to people on level more than business/work/school, so yeah my social skills are crap.
Any insightful advice would be very helpful and appreciated, thanks for reading and I’ll try and respond to you all as soon as I can.
17 comments
Awesome. Keep it casual, sounds like you had no problem keeping the conversation going so good job. Listen to them be kind and do what feels natural. You got this!
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It L be lovely to be sure of your & their intentions, make sure to not cross boundaries
Apart from that congrats. Enjoy!
That’s awesome , I’m glad to hear this.
I say take the friendship nice and slow. Sometimes people are not what they seem or what we hope for. But just learn about your common interest and plan some hangouts.
That’s really sweet, just relax, maybe say that you’re interested in brushing up your social skills. If a new friend wants to hang, they like you, that’s what matters. You can hang together, chat, be silent, play games, maybe go out and wonder around museums, parks with ducks, you know, that kind of thing. The rest will take care of itself.
Be honest, talk to her how you would like someone to talk to you, and remember that she’s human too, pobodys nerfect.
Seems like you’re doing just fine as it is. If it’s someone of the opposite gender, make sure you two are on the same page about how you want to keep this friendship, whether it be platonic or a relationship. Don’t feel awkward about asking these types of questions if you ever feel confused about certain behaviors from them. Just a little bit of advice.
Otherwise, just keep it casual and ask her what time and place would work for her to play some video games.
Relate to this, happened through volunteering for me, they are about 20 years older than me tho 🤣🤣 introvert here..
I’m so happy for you!!! Congrats on getting a new friend ✨I guess just enjoy each other’s presence and listen to each other. :3 Don’t worry too much cuz you have one of the best ways of bonding. Walking, talking together and going to the same destination. xD Just enjoy and celebrate each other’s presence, words might flow smoothly cuz anything around you, interests, whatever happened that day/week or anything can be a topic. XD
Even if you don’t talk together but just walking together is lovely. Idk if others feel this but for me that’s like bonding. The presence means a lot. I hope your friendship blooms beautifully :3 Human connection is lovely hahaha ~ I wish you the best ✨
(Gahd I miss walking and chatting T–T)
Say something nice/reassuring as an opener to her on discord. She is probably a bit nervous too, maybe. Just something simple like hey, it was nice to chat to you today! Maybe even a compliment like, I like your taste in video games (not too much obvs as you are keeping it at friendzone).
This indicates you were happy to meet her and she will then know you are glad to have a new friend. Then just ask her if she is playing something online you could meet her in like WoW or something (yes I’m old, I’m sure there’s cooler online games the kids play these days).
When you are in casual conversation, if you don’t know what to say, ask her about herself – what food does she like, is she studying, where did she go to school, etc. Sometimes when we are socially anxious we forget our active listening skills. It’s always a safe option when you aren’t sure what to say. Or if that seems too deep, ask her what she has planned for the weekend etc. Just simple things.
The friendship will grow with a combination of shared experiences (gaming sounds like a good start) and sharing interest in each others likes, dislikes and stories. If you find other shared hobbies (cooking, hiking, camping etc) those would help to build the friendship too.
Find your common interests and go deeeeep down the rabbit hole.
I like games and my friend likes games. Most of our talks are sharing about games,game memes,game songs,game stories,ideas etc.
Share memes, share new events they must know about(PC Gamer can help).
and since you like games and the other person like games. CO OP!
I’m really happy to hear about this positive development in your life!
That said, it’s distressing the number of posts that keep showing up in this r/ about people not knowing the very basics of human interaction. I’m GenX and it boggles the mind this is a skillset that a lot of people growing up today just don’t have in their toolbag.
Just be yourself and if you’re wondering whether to say something in your mind, ask “Would I say this to grandma?”
It’s better to be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt. – Lincoln, I think
Well keep talking & play videogames together if you have some common games.
that’s cool, I’m happy for you, it gives me hope look for her to talk too sometimes, to show that you like and appreciate her company
It takes practice. Get out more. Make an Instagram and find interesting things to actually fill it with
Let them do the talking and ask a couple of questions from time to time. After you get used to it, you can also bring in some more content into the conversation