Usually I (16m) enjoy being alone, I don’t like bothering anyone not wasting anyone’s time. I mean the less people I’m close to the less I’m going to get hurt right? Well that was what I thought but a small part of me always wanted to be apart of a small community and make friends and be sociable but I don’t know how to open myself or engage with other people. I tried to make friends online but always got ghosted, but it was quite easier to talk to. I am just tired of having to cry myself to sleep whenever any social i ntercourse failed with anyone.
For instance in my city there is a place where people who had the same interests like me can gather and make new friends and there was this guy who I have been talking to via social media, we have seen eachother there quite some time but I always was kinda alone and never really spoke to anyone. So I gathered up all my courage and we talked via a social media platform and I enjoyed his attention. So a few days ago I went there and he gave me a big hug. Usually I hate any type of physical touch but I enjoyed that hug and felt like I shouldn’t push it away. He asked me questions like how was I but I just kept my answers short and in one word. Then everything went downhill. He got visibly bored and hanged out with his friends. There were so much I wanted to say to him but I couldn’t. So I just left after some time.
Idk if this has anything to do with how I interact with people but I am struggling with my mental health and no one really knows. Because I had no one to tell my issues to. So I am keeping it all for myself.
I think the main issue is that I am scared. I’m scared of getting close with anyone and then they leave me. I’m scared of being the last option all the time. I’m scared that they might not be able to understand me. I’m just so scared idk what to do. Please help
1 comment
You’ve just got to keep trying. It is scary. That’s all there is to it but you can keep trying and you’ll get better and better.
You were too nervous to think of anything to say, it happens and it’s definitely not the end of the world if you’re only 16. It might feel like it but you’ve got plenty of time to keep practicing. I know how you feel about the ghosting thing, people are just like that.
It’s not always your fault. Sometimes it is but people are also just involved in all sorts of other things and sometimes it ends up in you not being a priority. If you didn’t do anyhting to cause this that you can tell, then maybe it’s just that simple.
It sucks but it is how it is and you’ll find people who want to be around eventually instead of having to fight to keep them around. I know it’s hard, though. It will be that’s just the simple truth but it gets easier.
If you’re up to it sometime soon, try to jot down what exactly you’re afraid of. It won’t be simple and you probably won’t know. If you do, you can try to work on those things piece by piece, if you don’t you just need to keep trying and you might just find out it’s not so scary overall. 🙂
Best of luck. Everything will be okay even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.