My partner (M 26) and I (F 24) spend a lot of time together since we really enjoy each other’s company. However, as normal people do, I have some activities that doesn’t involve him. I’d ask him to join me sometimes since he clearly wants to be there and I too want him there but there are times too when I want to go out without him. I feel bad because he always invites me every time he goes out, even with people who aren’t our mutual friends. We had a fight about this too before. it’s not that I don’t want him around, but I just want to enjoy myself as myself without being somewhere as his partner. I’m just not sure how to tell him that I want to spend some time away from him without it coming off as cold or offensive.
\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : How do I tell my partner that I want to go out without him?
2 comments
You could:
* Explain what having alone time means to you: what goals you wish to accomplish, experiences you wish to have, feelings you’d like to experience, etc.
* Express how your desire for privacy and alone time isn’t related to your love your your partner.
* Offer comparisons to other activities that you two generally recognize are perfectly acceptable to do alone.
* Ask him what feelings he has about you doing things alone, and see if there’s anything that can be done to address or alleviate his difficult feelings.
* Stand firm about your values. Reiterate that you care about your partner and enjoy spending time with him, but you also have the right to do things on your own.
Depends on the frequency. Let’s say if you want to do things on your own two or three times out of six, it’s fine. But if it’s more than that I kinda understand where he’s coming from.
Also depends on the intensity of those dates you had together. Sometimes one activity alone is enough to sustain weeks, tho of course we cannot look at this thing as if it’s a mathematical equation.