My boyfriend (M19) and I (F17) have been dating for five months now. We are long distance since he’s in college and I’m in Highschool. We’ve gotten to see each other since May and he leaves end of August. Though we’ve run into some troubles. My mom has done some not great things to me (stealing my money, tricking me into moving across the country, leaving me home alone for most of the year since I was little) and it makes my boyfriend not like her. My mom also does not really approve of my boyfriend because she doesn’t like how serious we are at my age. She also doesn’t like how he didn’t get a job this summer (he works during college) and she thinks we hangout too much. My brother doesn’t like when he’s over at my house because my boyfriend is over there a lot (my bf lives farther away and I don’t have a car so he drives over to me). My brother told me he misses spending one on one time with me so I think I need to stop hanging out with my bf as much which does make me sad because he leaves in 2 weeks to go back to college. And everyone in my family is starting to disapprove of our relationship because they think we hangout too much and the job thing. It really stresses me out because I want to be with him but it feels like no one approves.
TLDR: My family disapproves of my boyfriend and my boyfriend doesn’t like my mom.
3 comments
So wait.
Your boyfriend has LEGITIMATE REASONS to dislike your mother so you think you should throw your boyfriend under the bus for her?
Girl you’re only 17 so I understand why you feel like this is bad that you’re mother doesn’t like him!! But your boyfriend hasn’t done anything wrong. don’t destroy ur relationship for anyone.
It’s certainly challenging to balance a personal relationship with the pragmatic limitations of living in a household run by your parents. I’m not in a position to say whether you are or aren’t spending “too much time” with your boyfriend because I don’t know how much time that is, not do I know what your mom’s expectations are for you. So you’ll need to consider for yourself whether you’re meeting your household obligations or maintaining your relationships with family members or not.
>My brother told me he misses spending one on one time with me
That doesn’t seem like an unfair statement to make. Would you be willing to do so? You are, of course, able to adjust your schedule however YOU want, and prioritize your time spent in different ways in accordance with your values and circumstances. But it’s ultimately up to you how much you want to invest time spent with your brother. Personally, I think it’s sweet that your brother wants to spend time with you.