So I (23M) have always had troubles with intimacy, it takes me a while to warm up to someone and I’ve always had the habit of cutting things off with girls before it gets too serious. My main sexual experience has never gone beyond kissing and hand related stuff.
I’m finally in what I’d consider to be my first proper/happy relationship. And with that it means we’re gonna get closer physically (obviously). A few weeks ago we finally got to a private place and attempted to have sex for the first time.
I say attempted because I didn’t release the pressure of the situation and the anxiety around losing my V card meant I was not…performing well. I brushed it off as just being a little drunk and she didn’t seem to mind.
However she keeps asking me to come over now so we can actually do it and now I’m just in my own head about it and so stressed it’ll happen again. I didn’t tell her I was a virgin when we met as I’m obviously a bit of a late bloomer, I literally lied and said I’d done it a few times before which is very stupid and insecure of me in retrospect.
Are there any techniques I can use to get in the zone better for my proper first time, and also should I tell her that it is my first time or would it kinda kill the mood?
TLDR: stressed about losing my virginity, didn’t tell girlfriend I was losing it to her. In my own head about it please assist.
Thanks for any advice!
4 comments
Tell her. If she cares about you it will make the whole experience better.
I was a late bloomer and just faked it til I made and tried to make up for my lack of technique with enthusiasm lol. Probably wasn’t the best sex ever but it worked well enough. Keep in mind that regardless of how experienced someone is, everyone is different in terms of preferences and it takes a lot of couples some time to get into a good groove. You can have two super experienced people who aren’t compatible in the bedroom and two virgins who hit it off from the get go. Don’t put a ton of pressure on yourself for the first time to be perfect or amazing – you have the rest of your relationship to get to know each other’s bodies. Don’t be afraid to communicate, have fun, and enjoy the process.
Tell her the truth. A good girl will understand and try and make it easier for you. As things go on, be able to communicate about sex and willing to accept pointers and what she likes/ would appreciate you doing
Besides, I’d imagine there are many guys who aren’t even virgins that still really don’t have any sort of what you would call good technique.
Oh and don’t try to make it a porn scene. Slow things down, start with foreplay.
Dude tell her. Me and my bf were virgins into our twenties. The right person won’t care. She may be more upset that you lied snd didn’t trust her to be honest.