it is starting to stress me out.. I broke up with him a month ago but he won’t accept it and says he wants another chance and will only accept the breakup if we stay casual friends. However, he is being very clingy and obsessive and is annoying now. If I don’t text back, he gets annoyed and keeps asking what I’m doing or if I’m seeing another guy.. if I’m being dry he gets worried and I have to reassure him.. he keeps buying me food and try to take care of me even when I say it’s fine.. it’s a lot of pressure and I can’t block him because I don’t want to hurt him like that and he knows where I live and we share so many accounts I feel like he will find a way to contact me and plus I have so much of his stuff he gave me as a gift and he will get mad and demand to send them back which will cost a lot of money and the only reason he is cool rn is bc I agree to stay as friends but I don’t think this will work.. I broke up to be free and single but still feels like I’m locked in and have to do stuff secretly and lie and it’s stressing me out so much I don’t know what to do. seeing his face and his photos makes me angry and annoyed and I don’t want to talk to him anymore. I want to tell him to leave me alone but then he makes me feel guilty about everything he did and spent and the two years we were together and if I was just with him for fun when he was serious about it. Idk why he thinks he can force me to be with him when clearly I have no feelings left for him and just want to move on a find a new boyfriend. he keeps trying to brainwash me into thinking I still like him. when I try to not put any effort he says stuff like if he is not even worth a good friend anymore after everything he did and then starts gaslighting me about how messed up I am for breaking up when he did nothing wrong
5 comments
Just block his number. Stop replying to messages
Honestly I would let him know that you wish to go no contact and with the end of the relationship, there friendship ended as well. that if he can’t accept that, You’ll be speaking with the police.
So, here’s your post: “He’s harassing me and making me feel like shit to get what he wants, even though he knows I want him to leave me alone. I won’t actually say no to him because then he might be sad.”
If you’re going to live your life to make this asshole happy, get back together with him and be miserable.
If you want to move on, tell him to leave you alone and block him and stop all contact. **Yes, that means not caring if he is sad. Yes, that means not caring if he tells you that you’re a bad person for making him sad.** ***He is not a tiny child. It is not your job to make him happy. He can cope with you not wanting to date him.***
Dude u can block him. You are your own person. It is hard as fuck but it’s something I think needs to happen.
Gifts he gave you belong to you now. He has no right to ask or demand you return any gift. Period.
> he won’t accept it and says he wants another chance and will only accept the break up if we stay casual friends
He doesn’t have the power to demand this. Tell him that “staying casual friends“ isn’t working for you, and you’re not required to do any such thing for him to “accept” the a break up. Tell him it’s quite clear he is using this casual friend situation as a way to keep tabs on you and exert control and manipulation to keep you from moving on and enjoying your life without him and you’re not having it.
> I can’t block him because I don’t want to hurt him like that and he knows where I live and we share so many accounts
What??! Yes, you can block him. And you’re gonna have to. I don’t know what accounts you share, but undo that immediately. Change your passwords, create new accounts, whatever it is you need to do. As for him knowing where you live, that doesn’t matter. Everybody’s ex knows where they live. That doesn’t mean they’re welcome to come over. So make it clear to him that he is *absolutely not welcome to come over uninvited* or to show up with food or anything else for you. That if he does he’ll be asked to leave, no exceptions, and if he doesn’t leave you’ll call the cops. And all MEAN it. You will probably have to actually do this at some point, so don’t hesitate. When he shows up, DO NOT let him in. Tell him he was not invited, he’s not welcome, and he has to leave immediately *no matter what he came over to “bring” ypu*. If he doesn’t leave, go back inside, lock the door, call the cops, tell them there’s someone at your house that you have told not to be there, told them to leave, and they refuse to leave. Then STAY INSIDE and have no further communication with him until the cops arrive. No matter what he does. If he acts crazy yelling and threatening things and banging on the door or damaging property while he’s locked outside and you’re waiting on the cops, video whatever you can from safely inside. Show it to the cops when they get there.