(Update) 34M profile review. Decided to delete tinder and try bumble

37 comments

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2. You’re not getting people on Bumble? Do you live in a small town?

   I like the pic of you with the turtle. I also like the smiling teeth picture.

   Your profile write up sounds pretty boring though. I think you’d be an okay dude to hang out with but you’re not really telling me much. What would someone get out of hanging out with you?

   You could try being funny (“By day I’m a lawyer and by night, I’m in bed by a reasonable hour.”) Show your playful side too. Be specific. What do you do that makes you unique and special?

   Also helps to tell people what you’re looking for. “I’m looking for someone who wants to spend free time outdoors” or whatever.

3. The about me is much better. IMO your prompts add nothing at all to your profile. They gave me no interesting information about you and nothing that I can start a conversation with you about. When asked what you won’t shut up about you say everything and anything. You need to be specific and list actual subjects you are passionate about.

4. Sounds like your dating pool is very small! (or they’re not on the app you’re on)

5. I feel like I have no idea what your face actually looks like. A straight on shot without sunnies would do wonders.

6. It’s weird because I’ve looked at all your pictures and I have no idea what you look like because you look different in all of them.

   Your profession isn’t a bad thing. Why make it vague the way you have?

   Your profile isn’t offensive, but it’s bland and doesn’t stand out. You like talking with your significant other and interesting topics and travel. Seems like that would apply to the vast majority of the population. Only thing missing is to say you love to laugh. Having a joke in your profile could be a good conversation starter.

7. I would definitely swipe right on you. Your last profile not so much. I feel like I tend to gravitate towards “nice and ambitious” profiles. You seem like you’ve got it together, and you want to share your life with someone – but still figuring things out.

   I don’t think a profile should necessarily be hilarious or try to be funny – humor is interpreted so differently by people that don’t know you. Maybe one more nice photo – straight shot, clear – so I know what I’d be getting!

8. It’s not overly clear what you’re looking for in a potential partner, unless I missed something. This profile is a vast improvement from the original. I applaud your ability to accept constructive criticism.

9. Not sure if it’s Imgur compressing your pics or not, but at first glance they look blurry/low res like they could have been taking 10+ years ago. Pics that aren’t high quality would make me think your pics are very old or that you’re a catfish.

10. You wrote my twice

11. It’s a step up from the last bio for sure.

    I would probably swipe right, but there’s not a lot to go on. I cant clearly see your face (shadows, sunglasses, angles) and the prompts are very sparse.

12. Hinge works pretty well, depending on if its popular in your area. Generated by far the most conversations leading to dates for me.

13. You need a proper photo that shows your whole face in one shot. The content is okay for the most part. I do see “empathy” mentioned in a lot of profiles, so maybe elaborate on that a bit more to set yourself apart.

    Also, tortoise photo makes me a bit uncomfortable. Looks like you’re squeezing its neck.

    With that said, your profile filters out people who don’t like to talk, which is fine if that’s what you want.

14. I think the profile is fine, but I have no idea what you actually look like. You need one or two clearer face pics.

15. I can’t tell what you look like from your pictures. Your ‘about me’ and your prompt answers are so generic and too broad to even begin a conversation on.

16. Looks like 4 different guys. Enlist a friend to help you take photos outside without the sunglasses

17. Hi OP! This is headed in a better direction (IMO). Your about me/prompts feel more relatable and less intimidating.

    I think you’d benefit from some updated pictures. I’ll reiterate that I think shirtless pics are fine as long as you’re doing a hobby/activity.

    The new profile does fall slightly on the general/boring side now. Maybe you could share why empathy your favorite quality in a person?

    And I think you could use a more targeted question in your “anything and everything” prompt. Is there a topic you like to get people’s opinions on? That could be a good way to get conversations started. Especially since women have to message first.

    Still wishing you the best!

18. It’s so weird bc you’re a good looking, fit guy but almost every picture you posted are pretty awful.

    It’s hard to figure out what you actually look like in most of them and honesty I’m not a huge fan of your second picture (which is the most clear one). Just gives douche bro vibes, sorry.

    Grab a friend, and have them take pictures of you where your face is clearly visible. Some candid and some posing.

    I think that’ll go a long way.

19. I think you should change your profession back to “Lawyer”- that’s a cool profession, you don’t have to downplay it 😬

20. Your pictures are crap, my man. Channel your inner Derek Zoolander and get in front of a camera.

    Like others have said, the bio is generic. Every dude says something about “bucket list” travel. Unless visiting Japan has to do with your interests (maybe you love anime? Taiko drumming?), it’s meaningless.

    I’d say add back in your interests. Diving? That’s cool, I’ve never seen it on a dating profile, and it’s the first thing I’d ask you about if we matched.

21. I think you actually need to say some of the things that you enjoy discussing. You say you enjoy endless hours of great chat but nothing in particular. This might put the pressure on the girl or she may assume you will sit at home glued to your phone awaiting a reply.

    Maybe say “ would love to hear your thoughts on(insert quirky question on a topic you like”

    Get a nice front on photo taken by someone not a selfie.

    You’ll get there.

22. You’re attractive. Sorry it’s not working out in Bumble.

23. 1. I like your profile. Just be a little more creative on the prompts. You can use the favorite quality in a partner prompt, mine had empathy, intelligence, open mindedness.

    2. I wouldn’t still swipe right because you don’t want children. That’s a deal breaker for me. And I don’t want to change someone’s mind about it. So if someone clearly mentioned they didn’t want children, I’d swipe left.

    3. Echoing what others said, add some better pictures.

    4. Don’t give up! You will have very few matches if you are in a small town. Also men tend to get less matches on the apps than the women. It’s a sad truth. If you can, get the premium account and send some super swipes or compliment the profiles you really like. My current bf did that (he’s 34) and here we are – committed by the end of the first month of dating!

    5. Try hinge maybe?

24. Bumble is weird

25. Where you at, OP?

26. [removed]

27. I agree with the picture comment and I love your profile!

28. The 2nd pic says empathy but the angle says “stay away from me” 🫠

    A full face pic would be better.

29. i absolutely hate the “you pick the topic” line. like, no. tell me what you are interested in, show me sth of who you are, where your passions lie, what YOU can talk about for hours.

30. Coffee meets bagel and hinge are both better than bumble, GL

31. As an expat living in Denmark and reading posts in this community, I’m shocked about the dating scene in Denmark. Guys here put 0 effort in their profile, not even talking about planing a date. Makes me sad…I need to move😓

    Your profile looks great, I would definitely swipe you right;) good luck with your search

32. I would have swiped you, based on the first picture. The other ones aren’t clear.

33. “EMPATHY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

    That caption and picture are awfully hilarious. Your profile comes across like this: https://youtu.be/lj3iNxZ8Dww

    Like you’re trying to appeal to everyone and no one in particular at the same time.

    “Legal field” sounds like a bad euphemism.

    Just be honest. Your boring bland answers make you seem desperate. They seem simultaneously thoughtless and contrived.

    You’re hiding in every picture and answer. I hate the turtle picture, but it’s the one that seems most honest because you’re more tucked away than the damned turtle.

    If you value your time as a model and your travel experiences, don’t leave it out. If you value your profession and education, don’t leave it out. Those are all ways for others with similar interests and experiences to immediately connect with you.

    Maybe cutting that out and taking an enormously wide swing will let you hit a few more matches, but are they who you’re really looking for? It’s not about getting everyone to like you. At this age, I’d rather go dateless than go on dull dates.

34. Just actually read the prompts, no, those are terrible, so generic, go back to what you had before 😛 I’d probably still swipe right, because god damn the bar is low around here, but your previous profile was better, just tone down the bragging a little bit.

    If you already have postgraduate degree in the labels and you mention you’re a lawyer, no need to also mention the 3 master degrees (if that’s the true one, either way, just pick something else).

    Did you actually get bitten by a shark? I’d wanna hear that 🙂 Also curious about the tropical island, is it Martinique? Pictures look like it 😅

35. Maybe try Hinge? That allows voice memos and video to add dimension to profiles. Or if you’re willing to date outside of town a bit, you can increase your range to include the next largest city. Especially if you think there are limited numbers of women using app in your area.

    I’m On and off OLD because it can be a bit much at times, regardless of the app I’m using. So take my feedback with a grain of salt.

36. I’m an online dating veteran and have developed an acute eye for profiles: all my adult relationships started on an online platform, most of them functional and long term. Here’s my honest opinion of your profile.

    Your photos look like someone who has something to hide. The text reads as someone who wants to be happy but has no idea how. Given that on the strictly informative level you could be close to an ideal match for me, this dissonance piqued my interest, so I took a look at that earlier post you linked to, and some of the comments.

    Based on your responses there, you would benefit from focusing on personality-development for a good while, rather than dating. You don’t seem to know who you really are, what your values are and why. What makes you happy, etc. Another, related area of development: mentalisation skills. That means understanding things from someone else’s perspective. Someone with a different personality than your own. That’s a key skill to have in a relationship. If you’ve had a very strict upbringing and one or both your parents lacked this skill, it’s very understandable that you also lack it, but it’s a learnable thing even in your adulthood.

    Then, I took a glance at your post history. I think you’ve been actively misrepresenting yourself in one or more of these posts and comments. For example, is it true that 4 just months ago you were married? (If yes, please take more time to heal and process your divorce before dating.) Are you actually set for early retirement in just a couple years, or is your portfolio at risk of getting reduced to a level where retirement isn’t an option?

    When your sense of self worth is lost to you and you try to look for it in external sources, that’s a losing battle every time. You’ll start getting better profile help once you build an understanding of yourself and where you’re coming from, as we can then focus on evaluating how well your profile reflects the real you and your dating goals. Right now it seems that you’re soliciting comments just to see what kinds of things would be appealing to the general public, in order to maximise the number of likes you’ll receive. But the people who do that end up conveying an underlying emptiness that really isn’t all that appealing to most, even if “on paper” everything is picture perfect.

    Time to look inward.

37. I think it looks good! You have a range of pictures, although you do look quite different in some. Are they all from really different time periods? I would remove the one with the turtle – it doesn’t really add anything (you can’t see your face), and it raises questions about animal welfare, which might put some people off.

    I go into more detail here, if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/9zRSDyFy-hI