I don’t think there’s much one can do when one’s friend is mourning over death/loss aside from just being there and sharing in the moment of sorrow. This I know. I think friends don’t always have to say things, but they share in your pain so you feel a little less alone.
I also think that during times of loss, I don’t think those grieving really want to hear anything profound. We all know death is a part of life, and I wouldn’t wanna be told that while grieving. Still, I can’t help but feel that I should have better things to say than “I’m sorry”.
What are your experiences and thoughts?
3 comments
My best advice here is to help with tangible things. When we’re grieving, normal everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. If you’re able to help take something off their plate, I’m sure they’d appreciate it. I’ve found Doordash gift cards to be particularly helpful to people so they don’t have to struggle with figuring out dinner.
I’d also suggest offering to help with a particular thing, rather than just saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” For instance, say something like, “I’m gonna get a few things from the grocery store, what can I grab for you?”
> I don’t think there’s much one can do when one’s friend is mourning over death/loss aside from just being there and sharing in the moment of sorrow.
That’s huge, right there. The day my mom died, I called some of my closest friends together because I knew I couldn’t be alone that night, and we just ordered food and hung out for a few hours. We didn’t spend the whole time talking about my mother, or even about anything super deep and existential; we were just present. They were there for me and held space for me to process what had happened.
Let them know you’re there. Give them space and forgiveness for trying to recreate their lives. Know that sometimes they will overwhelm you, sometimes they will ignore you, and neither is anything to do with you.