It’s getting tiring seriously, i started getting sick of him we do it all the time and we can’t have a simple conversation cause he’ll turn any simple topic into something dirty like if i say “the food is hot” he’ll say say it’s because of you. It’s cute when it occasional but it’s sooo constant i feel like I can’t even talk to him about anything besides sex. Even something as simple as me getting up to get something he’ll say “oh yea i like when you do that” referring to me walking, i feel objectified by him and he’s convinced that i like that no matter what i say.
I can’t keep up with his sexual energy it’s too much, we refrain from intercourse on the week that I’m ovulating cause we’re being careful, so i have to give him blowjobs during that week daily multiple times, my jaw feels like it’ll drop, i asked him to masturbate if our sex isn’t enough and he said he already does that. He cums maybe 10 times a day.
I can’t refuse if i say no he gets sooo hurt and walks away if i ask him what’s wrong he says “you rejected me”. Today i told him you can’t want it all the time it’s sickening to which he replied “yea yea you’re right” and now he’s not talking to me.
I know he’s already thinking about other women as we had this scenario before where he said “I deserve love and passion and if you won’t give me there are plenty that will”.
I tried I really did, but I can’t do it all the time I’m pretending to enjoy it most of the time just to not upset him.
26 comments
I think it is related to porn addiction sometimes young men/women who are addicted to porn so much their brain is not functioning as it usually does. So by the time they get married their sexual desire is much higher with the person who isn’t watched/not as addicted as them and that might be the reason why he wants to have sex everyday. Regarding the point of him looking for other women, I think that’s the beginning red flag of the relationship try talking to him and explaining the issue, if he doesn’t listen my advice is look for therapy for him.
No one would want it that much. I don’t blame you. You get sore and uncomfortable and it does become a chore.
He should look into sex addiction. You can both see a counsellor and you can see one together. Definitely talk about it because my STBX was seeing prostitutes for years.
If he’s not prepared to work on the issue, your counsellor can help you work out where to go from there.
His behaviour is abusive. It’s as simple as that. It’s up to you if you allow that to continue or not. Judging by your post, this does not seem like a man that is open to listening to you and changing his behaviour.
He has other issues other then a sexual drive …
Look, I’m sympathetic to people with high sex drives, but the way he manipulates, pressures, shames and threatens you is absolutely abusive.
You cannot go on this way. Demand he goes to counseling with you, or consider ending the marriage so you don’t have to feel like this for the next 50 years.
>“I deserve love and passion and if you won’t give me there are plenty that will”.
It’s cute that he actually believes this.
OP, stop having sex you don’t want and servicing the selfish needs of this manbaby. If he cheats then you have an iron clad case for divorce. Would you really miss him? Sounds like you can’t stand hi any more and I don’t blame you.
Tell him to grow up and stop being selfish. If he respects you so little that he would consider sleeping with someone else, then let him. There’s plenty more men that would show you the respect that you deserve
10 times a day??? How do people not get sore from that? Any more than twice is painful for me.
10 times a day? lol jesus
He’s likely a sex addict. He’s also abusive and a manipulative asshole. This would be a deal breaker for me
Leave him. You two are not compatible and he will probably cheat. Is sexual energy a whole different energy? You could try a sex therapist for yourself but for now you two are no more and I think you realize that
I don’t know how one would get anything else done cumming 10x/day. That’s a full time job.
This feels like a counseling or divorce situation. He’s always going to resent you (or seek outside gratification) if you establish more reasonable boundaries now but this all seems exhausting. The entire marriage can’t be sex-focused. It doesn’t sound like you have kids together- so be thankful there.
He is being an asshole! He should say things that are intentionally trying to coerce you into having sex, not to mention the emotional abuse.
Ejaculating ten times a day as a man is absolutely indicative of a serious sex addiction. You need to have a calm, empathetic, sit down conversation with him – *not* at a time where he has just asked for sex, and explain to him how this aspect of your relationship is making you feel. Don’t go on the attack; it’s counter productive. Telling him how the situation is hurting you, and that you can’t carry on without change, *is* productive. You can also tell him straightforwardly that his needs are atypical and you are concerned he has an addiction. Then you can say that the issues are posing a threat to your relationship, and you want to solve them. Couples counselling is the starting point for this, but it will almost certainly need individual counselling/treatment for his likely addiction on his side, and possibly counselling on your side.
The key is to understand that his needs are atypical and therefore must be coming from a place of psychological imbalance of some kind – whether that is addiction, depression or a mix of those and/or others. Understanding that is the foundation for empathy which will allow you to have a succesful conversation with him to move forward.
If he is not receptive to this, then it may be necessary to give him a ‘soft ultimatum’ (ouline clearly the existential threat to the relationship, and say that if he will not come to couple’s counselling and work through the issues with you, that you may be left with no choice but to end the relationship). But hopefully it doesn’t get to that point.
Sounds like he’s a sex addict who should probably seek counselling. Not only are his demands completely unrealistic and unsustainable, but he’s also an abusive manipulative asshole. He’s threatening to cheat on you or leave you because you don’t have sex with him multiple times a day? That’s awful. What is he going to do if you get sick? or if you get pregnant and need to heal for weeks? Or if you go through rough patches where your libido will naturally decrease? Will he then also ‘look elsewhere because there are plenty of women out there who can satisfy him’?
His threats alone would already be a dealbreaker for me, let alone the way he treats you. He’s constantly coercing and guilt tripping you, and it’s awful that you’re in such an emotionally unsafe place that you have to have sex you don’t want. I would very quickly grow resentful and sex repulsed. It’s no wonder you’re sick of this, and it’s no wonder you feel objectified if he turns everything you do into a sexual thing. Those things rarely feel good.
Also, it’s funny he believes he could easily find women who would be willing to give all the sex he demands. I can’t even name one person who wouldn’t be exhausted from this after a short while. He’s delusional.
You are “giving him” plenty of sex, but the more you have sex that you don’t want, the more disgusted you’ll become by it.
Perhaps it’s time to tell him that maybe he should go out there and find the woman who will have sex with him 3 times a day.
10 times a day???? How do ppl have time for that? Does he not have a job or hobbies, house duties??? This is beyond a high sex drive…. He needs therapy…. If I was you I would stop having sex with him while he figures himself out and this sex addiction. He sounds like a selfish man.
He has a problem. Be a good wife and spread your legs twice a day. After that, tell him to find other things to do. Find a hobby. Maybe he’s bored.
He is already cheating on you ,leave him
His behavior is absurd! It’s abuse flat out abuse. The longer you stay the longer he will have a hole on you and you’ll feel “stuck” if he can’t work on the relationship at hand without sex then it’s time to leave and know you did everything you could.
Been there, done that. In the end, we agreed to 2 times a day on weekdays, 3 times a day on weekends, unlimited on vacations. For vacations, I get to pick when and where, and he gets to have me. I try to have endless sex first three days, after which we both get to enjoy our vacation. Giving more variety tends to reduce his need for frequency. Worked for us, hopefully, it or a variation, and will work for you. Key is getting your expectations in sync and both following through with your commitment.
It sounds like your husband has a sex addiction and is using you to help fulfill that. I would require couples counselling and individual to continue this relationship. You are never obligated to have sex with someone even your spouse this is appalling
There’s no way you’re still with this moron after even just a single time he would have said anything like that
So tell him to go find someone else, and divorce him. You sound incompatible on a deep level, and he sounds obnoxious and childish. Clearly you have wildly mismatched sex drives, which is a serious compatibility issue.
You CAN refuse sex. You DON’T have to give him blowjobs. You DO NOT owe him sexual gratification if you’re not in the mood. All of this is coming from a person with a high sex drive.
If you’re miserable now, that’s not going to change. If you can’t communicate with him, and he can’t listen without guilt-tripping you, then it’s already over. I hope y’all can get therapy or find a way to fulfill BOTH of your needs.
just give him head instead