I’m 20 currently in college and my girlfriend 19 goes to the same college as me. We’ve dated for a year
When we first met, I just thought it was an easy hookup, I was partying and going out a lot
Then I started to lose friends and ran out of $$$. So I “fell” for her. Dont get me wrong she’s nice, looks good, I enjoy spending time with her. We never really have BIG arguments.
Tbh she treated me better than anyone in my life
But, my issue is, I like sex a lot not just with her, but with other women as-well. When we first met she was okay with it and I promised not to get emotionally attached to the girls I hooked up with.
I never did get emotional with them, but she couldnt take it, which I understand.
So I tried being monogamous for a while – 1 or 2 months, being broke and lonely made it easier, but at some point, I couldn’t take it. I would cheat behind her back.
She’d find out and I apologized and she forgave me and we tried again but I lasted a few weeks
I cheated on her birthday month. fuck I sound terrible. but she never knew about it.
At the beginning of the summer, we decided to take classes together for the fall semester half of our classes are together. We chose the best professors and time to take classes.
Then a few weeks pass by, she couldn’t handle knowing I’m always looking at other girls or etc.. again I understand.
So we tried doing an open relationship, at first, it was fine but I just couldn’t take seeing her text other men and she herself was disgusted by it after talking to a few guys on day 4
So now wtf do I do, if I break up with her we have the same classes, the same school, and I know nobody except her. But, also do enjoy her company. But is that real “love”? Am I not just dependent on her because I’m lonely and don’t have the things I want in life yet?
I also feel like I’d never get a girl like her again. fuck I’m so young
I feel like there’s someone who’s hotter, more fun, and better out there. But, the fear of the unknown or making the wrong decision frightens me.
I know even asking this here shows I shouldn’t waste her time finding true Love
What do you think I should do?
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TL;DR! – We met at my lowest point- as a hookup and I feel dependent on her due to a lack of friends. Should I end it?
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21 comments
…wow, you seem like…a prize. Yes, break up with her, and stop taking advantage of people out of your own desperation.
Yeah man your empathy levels are so questionable. You cheat on her no problem but when she texts other guys you’re insecure???
You’re treating your girlfriend like shit. Yes break up and don’t promise monogamy to anyone you can’t give it to.
And if you do t want to end up along you’re gonna have to treat people better.
Do her a favor and end it. Don’t be in a relationship if you can’t be faithful. You say you are broke, but apparently have plenty of time to find other girls and hook up. Maybe that time would be better spent getting a job.
Yes – end it. She deserves better. You’re not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship.
Do her a favor and end it. You don’t seem to understand the you don’t get to play the field and hold in reserve while you look for something “better”.
You’re an asshole break up with that poor girl she deserves so much better
You’re a child, don’t be in serious relationships, just fuck around. Hopefully you’ll grow up soon.
I think you need to grow up.
Let the girl go, because she absolutely deserves better than this flaming dumpster fire of a relationship.
Two options – break up with her and carry on playing the field so you can carry on having nothing more than meaningless casual encounters, or actually grow up and realise that there is more to life than sleeping around and enjoy having a proper relationship with a nice girl.
For her sake I hope you break up with her, it sounds like she deserves to find someone with more scruples and decency than you.
I think you need to work on yourself. I’d recommend therapy, specifically with someone who specializes in sex. I’ve learned a lot by reading “Come as You Are” by Nagoski. It’s primarily about women’s sexuality, but there’s a lot about sexuality and desire in there that will help you understand that you “wanting” other women may just be a symptom of boredom or unmet sexual needs (that CAN be met in a relationship if you articulate what those needs are).
She seems like a catch and you seem like you have work to do on yourself. If you’re willing to work on yourself, tell her. See what she says and if she’s willing to support you while you figure out your sexual dysfunction. It honestly sounds like your depression or social anxiety is affecting the relationship more than your actual lack of love for her. I don’t know, I don’t like advising people to throw away relationships when there’s a chance that they could work out if you try a little harder. Oftentimes, when you say goodbye, they may be gone for good.
Do her a favour and break all contact with her, and don’t get with anybody else until you grow up a bit and stop acting like a piece of shit
“fuck I sound terrible.” Because you kind of are. The double standard you have where you can lie behind her back and sleep with other women, but it makes you upset when she texts other men is outrageous. If you’re polyamorous, that’s fine, but you’re not; you’re just a cheater.
It also sounds like you used her rather than developed any real affection for her. It seems like any emotion you have is based on codependency. So, yes, you should break up, and you should honestly stay single because you sound like every woman’s headache.
You are absolutely too young (in your head) to bind yourself. You look for other girls and constantly cheat on your gf. You wouldn’t have tied yourself to her if you hadn’t lost your friends. If you still had your clique, it would be nothing more than a number. Finish whatever you have. . Separate sensibly and give her the opportunity to find a decent and loyal man. Do this before you give her a venereal disease. Live out. Do what you like to do best and avoid any kind of relationship with a girl until you have become more mature. You need all this to really appreciate your next gf.
The problem with your class/College is a problem that you have created yourself. You will become a much bigger AH if you continue to cheat on her all the time. That’s not how you win friends. Everyone is more likely to be at a distance from you.
Get a job that should fix your hormones
You clearly lack empathetic, and compassionate for others due to your own ignorance.
god i hope you don’t get anyone better. you would just mentally torture them too.
please do some reflection man. you actually proud to be like this? you KNOW what you need to do. stop hurting this girl.
You need to take a long look at yourself. And yes leave the girl and let her find someone who will respect and care for her jfc.
you need a woman who is okay with an open relationship that u both can sleep with whoever your selfish and jealous if u dont like seing her talk to other ppl yet u cheated on her work on it
You are fucking terrible just get in a relationship with someone non monogamous. You lack so much self awareness it’s embarrassing. Get your shit together.
If I were her I would never and ever be with you🤮
>and I know nobody except her.
What about all these girls you hook up with? Are these women people too? Or are women only for sex?
Have you thought about treating women as if they have whole personalities and interests and see if you could be friends with some of them, instead of just screwing them?