i (f24) just got slapped incredibly hard by my boyfriend (m33).
i was trying to be sweet and go down on him. i’m recovering from PTSD from being sexually assaulted at my last job.
i remark often that i need kindness and gentility now. we’ve explored with slapping in the past but i can’t handle it anymore because of how brutle the SA was.
we don’t have sex as often these days. as i was starting to kiss his penis (my usal way to start) he degradingly slapped his penis against my lips after i had just asked for gentility.
it shocked and angered me so i did in fact slap him and then he slapped me back what felt like 10 fold of what i did to him.
i feel lucky. he left to go sleep at his dads house.
he mentioned i can’t call the police because i hit him first and he was acting in self defense.
i don’t want the police involved at all anyway.
can i call a dv hotline or will that alert the police?
am i in the wrong here?
what are my options?
4 comments
Who’s wrong and who started it and who took it too far…are juridical questions that depend on where you live. And we are not going to ask where you live, which means that we cannot give answers on THAT specific part of your question.
That said, I would say that the relationship is now officially done and over with. Time to act accordingly.
You are not in the wrong, I think it was rude and totally disrespectful from his side, it is one of the signs for breakup my dad always used to say no matter whatever situation you are in don’t hit women walk away. And talk to her once she calms down. I think my advice for you is to consider breaking up with him violence in any form is not acceptable especially from men’s side considering that they tend to be stronger physically than girls.
You shouldnt have slapped him, and he shpuldnt have slapped you either. Sounds like this relationship has run its course.
Also your ex sounds like a disgusting pig. His first concern wasnt if he hurt you, but to threaten you to not call the police. What a scumbag
DV services are almost certainly not going to call the police. They are focused on helping people get out of unsafe situations and they know that sometimes the police can cause more harm than good.
I think you need to get yourself out of that relationship and if you feel like you need their help to do that I encourage you to talk to them or any family you feel comfortable with.