I’m 35M, single and currently have an indwelling foley catheter in (rubber tube in urethra, drains into a leg bag to hold your urine) and will for at least 2 more months. Urologist is suggesting I have a procedure to change it to a supra-pubic one (small hole w/ a tube in it placed in your abdomen right above pubic bone, that connects to a bag on your stomach or leg that holds your urine) b/c I have so far been unsuccessful in using intermittent (self cathing) twice per day, just can’t get it all the way in. The purpose is to maintain bladder function, prevent renal damage/complications such as sepsis and incontinence from not being able to empty bladder.
You can apparently still have somewhat normal erectile function with both but its a progressive disease. Complications are slightly more for the supra-pubic one but both are not great QOL wise.
The doctors currently no definitive diagnosis other than neurogenic bladder but they are trying to figure it out b/c it’s rarely seen in people < mid-60’s. I started having ED, blood in my urine and incomplete bladder emptying that must have progressed over a few months. It’s presumed to be neurological but so far the basic MRI’s haven’t been definitive.
*Being young, single and having autism, there’s the physical adjustment but, it makes it even more socially challenging. I worry about future prospects/dates, etc.*
I’ll miss swimming and not feeling self-conscious about taking off my shirt, using locker room, working out w/o needing to be concerned about it leaking, etc. That being said – kidney failure, etc due to my lack of action is unwise at best and not worth the risk.
*Currently have a FWB now that I think is more of a *friend* with benefits vs a f*** buddy, and we get along well, similar interests etc. They are patient, kind, and respectful despite it taking me forever to finish and jbh this is relatively new to me. I haven’t told him about this and am procrastinating about it b/c I don’t know how or when would be a good time. They want to hang out/meet up and I don’t need to keep making bs excuses.*
*Does anyone else have experience with this?
How would you prefer to be told if it were you? Would it be a deal breaker? (it’s okay if so, just be honest)
If I was 90 and married, or even single, it wouldn’t really bother me that much. I will eventually have to come to terms with it, I guess it’s just insecurities?*
Sorry for the long post and thanks.