I’ve only attracted a few flaky people who ditched me in the end. I’ve tried numerous hobbies, activities, and other gatherings, and I’m ignored or kept away from most people in spite of my polite, friendly, caring nature. Everyone treated me like scum in high school, college, and even in the workplace. Other people with ASD don’t like associating with me either because I might be like them.
I’ve tried meditation, practicing talking to myself, looking thru self-help, and I don’t feel better. I’ve tried to teach myself to be content with being alone for the rest of my life, but I can’t stand it anymore. I’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty to help others when in need, and there is never any reciprocation. I’ve tried taking an interest in other people’s lives instead of talking about myself, but I get nothing.
If I can’t make friends anywhere in normal society, then maybe I should join a religious cult. There are outcasts, pariahs and odd people who would never fit in anywhere in the main world. No one is rejected because of their abnormalities and everyone is passionate about getting to know and befriend one another.
At this stage, I don’t care if there is ‘brainwashing’ in the cult. At least people will see me differently than the outside world. Does anyone have any thoughts? Is this the only hope I have?
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\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : Everyone has been rejecting me from early school days, to hobbies, to social gatherings, and even at work. Because I’m tired of having to try and make myself accept my lonely situation, I’ve been considering joining a religious cult and am not sure how to proceed from here. People in cults appear to be much nicer to strange people like me.
4 comments
I don’t mean to come across as an ass, but have you considered therapy? ASD and ADHD are very hard to deal with. It’s difficult to feel shunned. I get it, I have ASD. But the majority of my friends also either have that or ADHD. Their similarities to me make me feel seen, and in the end I feel it’s rather nice to have a community.
If you feel that nobody likes you, even those who share neurodivergence with you, maybe it is more time to look inward. I know cults may SEEM appealing, but take it as one who has survived the scene… it’s not worth it. You feel loved and special until you very quickly do not. It’s the most isolating, terrifying thing you could get wrapped into.
You don’t have to live a life alone, but you shouldn’t indoctrinate yourself to cruel situations in order to feel the shell of what should be company. Seek help not to “fix” your neurodivergence. Seek help not to “cope” with being alone forever. You should seek help to work upon what might be a damaging outlook on life, and otherwise damaging habits that you might not be aware of. You can’t only rely on yourself to point that sort of stuff out, and you sure as hell can’t rely on a cult to do that, either. That would truly just be running away from AND multiplying your problems.
I hope you can come to terms eventually with the cards you were dealt, and learn to build upon your ADHD and ASD rather than further isolate and break yourself down for the sake of fitting in. Consider this an “I believe in you”.
I have both ADHD and ASS, it’s not a death sentence at all.
People in a cult are only nice to you because they want to control you, not because they actually like you.
You don’t really elaborate on what exactly you’ve tried but it seems you’ve focused on adapting yourself to please others. That’s not a route to success. You have to find people who like you for you. That can be tricky but also, there are loads of neurodivergent people out there that make it work. I usually thrive in places with a high amount of neurodivergency, like the kink scene (everyone is a freak there) or intensely nerdy spaces. I’ve also been to (trauma) therapy, I take Ritalin, and I have a coach that helps me with daily life stuff. I never had friends in school either, but now I’ve found my people and even romantic partners. They’re aware of my disabilities and understand it. Hiding them has never gotten me anywhere but burning out.
Have you tried playing some Pokemon games? I have friend with ASD that really gets lost the games. Also, there’s articles about Pokemon games being good for people with ASD.
Mental health issues and cult issues always mix greatly. You could ask all this people from the hale bopp cult from the 90s but they ended their lifes because of a comet.