I just went out with my bestfriend and his gf to the usual spot, chilled and whatnot. I just want to know wtf ppl talk about and how things spring to their mind so naturally. I was sat there thinking of what on Earth could I talk about that would allow everyone to engage in conversation and it lead to a lot of awkward silences that were thankfully sort of filled in by the music. It’s a horrible feeling just not being able to do the most natural and simple thing humans do. Talk! When moments like that happen with my best friend it makes me sad and scared to go out and meet new people as I know it’ll be much worse.
2 comments
Make a list before you meet them.
Basic genral topics in the news.
Stuff going on in your life that you want to talk about.
Things going on locally or coming up soon.
If you know that people you’re hanging out with be more specific with your list.:
Does your friend have family, ask about them specifically?
How’s their job going? How how’s their dog doing? Etc. Take the knowledge you have about that person and think of questions ahead of time. Follow up on any information you may have learned about them. The time before. Last time you talked to them they mention their dog hurt their foot. Ask about it. Put it on your list to remember to ask about it.
It’s more difficult with people you don’t know, but think of general topics like above or generic questions that people can answer . one thing that hangs me up in conversations is forgetting to ask another question about whatever it is that person is talking about.
So you say how’s your job going?
They say well. It’s going good except for XYZ.
At this point you need to follow up and ask more questions about XYZ. They don’t have to be deep or relevant, just slightly probing. Try to get the other person to fill the silence with info about themselves. Doesn’t hurt if you can also ramble about yourself a little bit.
Make list ahead of time. Until it becomes somewhat natural and you don’t need the list anymore. Good luck!
It’s a lot more easier than you might think: people talks about whatever they want to genuinely talk, that’s why it looks so natural, it really is indeed.
Real friends are comfortable also in plain silence because they enjoy your presence anyway and aren’t worried of you not talking.