30M here, pretty much a hermit. Went months without a single match. My confidence tanked, I was angry at myself, at the world for the whole dating thing went to shit in the last few years. In the last weeks I was considering quitting dating altogether and uninstalling all apps. I made a post a few days ago about how people say I’m attractive yet I couldn’t manage to find a partner and how a girl I’ve dated chose another guy over me which destroyed my self worth. How fake online dating is because all that matters is an artificially crafted “perfect profile” to at least even have a chance. So I ended up shooting a few low effort selfies and elevator mirror selfies and put those on my profile. I captures those when I was on a “high” which might reflect that I am happy and confident on those photos… I don’t know.
Anyway, matched with an amazing girl 2 days ago. When I swiped right on her I was thinking “yeah we won’t match anyway because she’s out of my league”. I think we’ve been texting and calling like 20 hours in the last 48 hours. I told her I’m not here to play games and I want to talk through everything so we don’t waste each other’s time. We cleared the most basic topics (marriage, kids, job, long term plans, where they want to live) and got to more detailed topics. We exchanged some extra photos and we’re very into each other, meeting her on Sunday. Until then we’ll keep spending time together online as much as we can. Ofcourse it’s moving fast and too early to say anything concrete but for the first time in my life I feel like this could actually lead to a serious long term relationship, I’m extremely psyched.
Before anyone says I might be just desperate and clingy, she is the one who suggested spending time online. We’ve both been single for the last 2 years and I know myself that I’m not co-dependent and I can be happy on my own when I don’t fixate on dating.
Very cheesy thing to say but I’d advise everyone to hold on, don’t give up.
7 comments
The one thing I’d be wary of is sometimes when you meet someone even despite photos I even did video dates during COVID and the same thing was true, like once I’d meet the person the vibes and body language can just be off, so I personally prefer just making that call in person before putting in upfront energy
Dude put success story after talking to a girl for 2 days lol. Seal the deal first buddy xD
Could be a catfishing situation. As others said, until you meet in person – never have full trust in a dating profile.
I love this for you. Dating and dating apps are so frustrating and I have uninstalled and reinstalled them on and off, over and over, over the last year. I’m glad that you may have potentially found your person after being so close to throwing in the towel!
Happy for you! But do not get too invested just yet before you meet soon.
Let this serve as a reminder that even if this does not work out, someone great could be around the next corner.
Good luck!
You’re way too invested bud, you’ve been talking to her for 2 days.
I’m just been ghosted after a month of talking and multiple dates, and her telling me how much she enjoy time spent with me.
I’m not trying to be a debbie downer, but trying to protect you a bit. It’s best to tamper down expectations until later stages.
One piece of advice: be cautious.
You are getting invested WAY too fast. I got hurt a couple of months ago from getting emotionally attached to the person I had been dating for a couple weeks. It ended quite abruptly and left me quite depressed. Don’t be stupid like I was and be cautious.