Throwaway because hubs knows my main. Just looking for advice or to see if anyone else has experienced this. My husband tickles me – constantly. I frequently ask him to stop and sometimes he will for a brief amount of time, but then he starts up again. I used to have a fairly high libido but because of the constant tickling, I no longer enjoy being touched by him. Anytime he now tries to initiate some form of sexual touch I react like he’s about to tickle me and pull away. It has caused me to no longer want to have sex with him, which he seems fine with as he has a lower libido and seems to prefer tickling me to sex anyway.
I’ve been very blunt about how I hate the tickling and how I can’t enjoy him touching me anymore, but he just blows it off.
Why does he do this? Is it some weird control thing? Every other aspect of our relationship is solid, this is just an issue that I don’t know how to address.
5 comments
Sounds like he’s provoking a response from you. Now the reason is going to be much more difficult to determine. It reminds me of my new puppy I’ve been training. Whenever she does something I don’t like, I scold her—but she doesn’t know that. All she knows is she did something and got a big response from me.
This is as bad as poking you with fingers or shoving you around. I would leave the house, get a hotel room, and tell him to lay off or you are not coming home.
It sounds like a fetish. But it’s abuse any way you cut it. (Some jerk tried this with me and he wound up with a black eye and broken glasses.) Put your foot down, now.
We can’t read his mind as to why, but he’s being a fool. He’s killing your desire for sex and intimacy, for what?
You sit down in a non sexual situation and let him know how big of a deal this is. Let him know that it has associated his touch with being turned off.
It worries me that he’s so dismissive of your clearly stated wished here. That to me screams total lack of respect for you as a human being. And if he’s okay with no sex, it’s almost like he’s trying to manipulate you into no sex.
Sounds like someone needs to send this link to HIM.
My wife would do this frequently. It never became a turnoff sex-wise but got really fucking old. It was one of her ways of being funny and a form of affection. Asking her to stop never worked. I had to over-the-top freak the fuck out on her. She said she would stop. Mostly did, but contined out of habit for a little while. I ended up with the reflexes of a ninja though.