TLDR; my boyfriend and I keep arguing and our relationship has been outwardly threatened. Are the threats meaning and end?
My boyfriend (38M) and I (32F) keep arguing about being on eggshells around each other and their feelings. We’ve been together for 5 years but have known each other about 10 years. He’s always been kind and communicative and I’ve always admitted that. I never grew up that way and communication has always been hard for me even though I have such respect for it. I’ve always been very technical and maybe even methodical. He’s always had anxiety, been very emotional and has had some relationships that were not kind to him.
The arguments never seem to change though. He states that I never think about him and his feelings despite the fact I feel exhausted from trying so hard to change and be respectful. I feel like he’s always thinking of his feelings more than our relationship as a whole. I feel it’s more about protecting himself from -anything- that could happen between us.
Quick back story. He’s always been very careful about the pandemic and has made it a habit as well as he just found out he was high level Celiac’s and cross contamination is no joke. I’ve been in the routine of coming home, washing my hands, teeth and face. Not a problem to me at all. I’ve gone gluten free for him and it’s not hard just for me to add this on. I care for him.
I came home from my first two trip away from him and the first thing he states to me is to wash my hands. I’m not expecting a romantic candles and flowers return but I was hoping for a little more excitement about seeing me again. At least a ‘welcome back’ or even just a ‘hello’ greeting. I was a little sad and disappointed, but I didn’t have a major problem with it until he said that he knew I was going to come home and be mad with whatever he said.
It was the first time we’ve gotten really loud towards each other. Him stating at one point that I don’t care about him and that it doesn’t feel like I want to be with him. I eventually cried myself to sleep and he fell asleep on the couch.
This isn’t the first time our relationship has been in question and I feel we’re both walking on eggshells as much as we’ve tried to communicate about it. We both have our problems and we’ve tried hard to make it work but I’m wondering if we’re just not compatible as much as we want to be. Does this just show PTSD from past relationships or is it time to throw in the towel for ours?
1 comment
Are either of you in therapy?