Or like in general when someone keeps shooting you weird looks or makes these backhanded comments— but specifically remarks that seem so normal but it’s obvious the intentions were negative. Or when you just feel really unwelcomed and a group of girls are giving you that negative energy and actively ignoring you kind of ?? And alot of these situations are unavoidable and this could come from anyone. But usually I just get all quiet and it kind of sticks and makes me feel shitty the whole day. What would be a better way to respond or how even can you save face because I always just stop talking and its a really pathetic feeling.
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1. Don’t assume their intentions were negative right off the bat. Maybe that’s their poor way of joking or they want to be liked so they make those comments, you never know.
2. You put your self worth in second place and the approval of others in first. Like you said, if someone said something mean to you you turn quiet and feel shitty all day because you believe those things they said. And also, why the hell would you want to hangout with a group of girls that’s ignoring you anyway? They just don’t like you so for your mental health’s sake just don’t even talk to them. You care too much about it
For me the best way to handle negative or (unknown intent) comments is to pretend they were positive. (kinda wished you gave an example!)
Anyway, suppose someone says, “Oh, love your HAIR today!” (snarky tone, rude side glance)
Me: “Oh, thanks! Keeping it more casual for the summer.” Big smile.
That disarms the slight (if there was one), and/or annoys the insult-giver that they missed the mark. Or it keeps things friendly if there wasn’t anything to get offended at to begin with.
Killing them with kindness and good cheer goes a long way. You can either “convert” them to joining in with your cheerful mood, OR, if they really want to play that game they’ll have to escalate the rudeness to a level where it’s obvious to everyone.