I (31F) was about to add the guy(32m) I am dating on IG. I looked to see who he is following I saw he follows a bunch of IG models and some girls who are at least a decade younger than him. He is about to start UNI in the city we live in and I saw a girl who looked to be about 18-21ish that he follows who also goes to the same UNI he will be going to. I asked him about it and he said he didn’t know who I was talking about and then deleted his IG and accused me of cyber stalking. I told him most people look at who people follow cause you can kinda get a read of who they are based on what they follow and I did not feel like I was cyber stalking him. Why would he delete his IG after I asked about who he follows?
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Are you sure he didn’t just block you so you can’t search him?
Sounds a bit suss though.
because he felt uncomfortable that you were looking. like he said.
From his perspective you went to add him, then trolled through all his follows and started asking questions
That seems quite intrusive to me and I’d be uncomfortable about that.
Imagine if he followed you then started asking about guys you follow? You’d probably feel a little weirded out
I once had a girl whom I wasn’t in a relationship with check who i was following and what pics i was liking before IG took down that “feature”, she even confronted me about it and even as i reassured her that what pics i like and people i follow have nothing to do with how i see her and what i want from her, she still didn’t believe me.
I haven’t faced a similar situation since, but i told myself to cut ties instantly with any girl that acts like that.
Blocking istantly is not very nice and can be a sign that he might have something to hide, but he could’ve also had a bad experience with another girl that would pester him or make toxic comments about what pics he likes and who he follows so maybe he thought you’d be the same and decided it’s not worth his time.
I doubt he deleted social media.
He blocked you because he didn’t want to play 21 questions about who he is following and likely felt like you were five-o
Because it’s easier to delete it than have ridiculous conversations about something he can prob care less about.
This is the guy that pays for onlyfans and consumes adult material in a consistent manner. Any male (not man) that uses social to like thong pics of random women is lost. Avoid this dude, find someone better. Algorithms don’t force questionable women into a feed unless that is what is being sought and liked. Good on you for calling him out, maybe it will be a wakeup call for him to do some work.
Why does social media presence mean so much to you?
As a guy, I deleted all my socials so I avoid weird things like this.
This is a good reminder as to why I don’t use social media.
I would think this is a red flag for some girls to check who guys follow on social media.
You’re in dating phase and I understand the motive behind checking his follower/ing, but confront him about it is not a smart move. You can check anything that’s public to your access, but it’s still his privacy. What I suggest is to look at his actions and make your decision whether it’s good to continue. Since he’s acted that way, I doubt he feels attacked and need to flush it away by either block you or delete IG (unlikely)
He definitely did not delete his social media. He blocked you.
He either temporarily disabled the account or he blocked you
He didn’t feel like answering a thousand questions
Why did you question who he follows? I’d have blocked you too. Stay out of my social media, nosey. I hate that mindset, it’s none of your fucking business.
Assuming he actually deleted his IG, and didn’t block you, it means social media in general doesn’t mean shit to him. He enjoyed the eye candy, sure. But it isn’t worth the trouble of getting interrogated by nosy people. He’d rather be off the grid than deal with the type of conversation you brought to him. He’ll probably watch porn as a substitute now.
If he blocked you, then the message is clear. Mind your business.
Probably just blocked you
You were intrusive, that’s the first thing you ask when adding him that’s weird
I’d also be uncomfortable with that level of scrutiny.
Sounds like you were blocked…
He most likely blocked you. I would also feel creeped out if someone went through my following list and checked out every girl on the list and the details of the girl. Sounds stalkerish and not healthy for you to do.
he blocked you because he doesn’t wanna have to deal with any more of your potential bullshit.
He blocked you. And I can understand why. You snooped. And yea maybe everyone does but you should’ve kept it to yourself. It’s a lil weird someone who I’m just getting to know asking a hundred questions about who I’m following and why. He owes you no explanation.
I think you need to deal with the fact that it bothers you so much. You need to be asking yourself why you’re intimidated by who he follows, not asking him why he follows certain people…unless they’re supporting different beliefs than yours.
You asked the question way too soon. If you aren’t exclusive, actually in the committed relationship, it’s not any of your business.
At the end of the day, it’s Instagram…I don’t mean this in a harsh way but for self reflection – maybe think about your true reasons for questioning him to not make the same assumptions again.
Is it age? Looks? Comparing yourself? Trust?
How long have you been dating? It’s perfectly reasonable to ask about this. It’s common knowledge at this point that Instagram followings can be an indicator of people’s interests. If he’s constantly looking at half naked women, then that could indicate that he has a wandering eye and isn’t someone to date seriously. If he really liked you, he’d reassure you that notning is going on and he’ll consider changing his following. But no, he’s a 32 yo who is acting like a young boy. I’d break up with him NOT because of his following necessarily but because of how he responded to you questioning.
like everyone else said, he didn’t delete, he blocked you.
yeah a lot of people do look at who someone follows- but it’s kind of an assumed thing, actually bringing it up is weird.
he follows ig models and girl he goes to school with? that’s… pretty normal imo.
I gotta say.. Why did you ask who he was following?
Meh. You should maybe just not do that. We are all allowed to have friends and past acquaintances on social media with out an interrogation. He prob blocked you.
I actually don’t see an issue with this. Following a lot of “explicit” accounts is an incompatibility for you most likely and I don’t think it was weird to see who he was following and ask him how he knew some of them. Vice versa would you find that intrusive? Probably not. If he genuinely did it could’ve been an incompatibility, worst-case scenario other bad things could’ve been ready to go on. I think it’s good things ended early, you were just giving him a chance to explain instead of assuming. I think you deserve to be able to have your own boundaries and incompatibilities same as him, and it’s good to be reluctant to trust strangers.
Hi. 26M here and I’m wondering, once you know you’re not blocked, have you considered the fact that you were definitely cyber stalking and he deleted it out of ease instead of answering all the “why are you following HER???” questions that may come his way? Guys are pretty simple
I’m going to be very blunt, this guy smelled the crazy on you and headed straight for the hills. While it’s normal to feel insecure in a relationship, for you to ask and bring up who he follows THIS early is a red flag on your part. Especially you asking about another random girl he’s going to uni with. I agree with him on this being cyber stalking. Not only does it suggest that you are controlling, but it shows you have very little confidence. I mean you just started following him, and he already blocked you for being crazy?
I would take this as a lesson, and from now on moving forward with any guy do NOT do what you did ever again.
I will be honest with you. I would Have blocked you from my social media. I can understand if you’re bothered by a specific individual due to past encounters or him flirting with them, but to confront him for who he follows or follow him is a bit insecure. Ease up a little bit.
You *were* dating. You’re not dating anymore and that’s a fact.
This is exactly why I deleted all my sm.
He blocked you.
He blocked you
He didn’t delete it, he blocked you. You checked his social media and then questioned who he follows… That’s a little Cray Cray…
I mean it sounds like you don’t trust the guy, so I’d stop seeing him if I were you. No point in pursuing it further
He blocked you more then likely honestly.
Because it’s none of your fucking business
I think it’s a little bit weird if you confront anyone about who they follow on insta this early on. I don’t think it would feel that weird if you asked about this several months into the relationship, if that still would make you feel insecure. I think if a guy is in a good relationship, he’d understand then and wouldn’t care about deleting these random girls on insta but only THEN.
but this was definitely way too early and I’m not surprised he felt upset.
Because he doesn’t want to deal with it. At all.
And unless he downloads it again I honestly wouldn’t bring it up
No need to generalize like that or scrutinize his follow list unless you have a solid reason for following every single person on your list as well
You are just dating the guy. Why does it matter if he follows other people??? People cyber stalk and get crazy over the dumbest of things.
I’ve been with my partner for almost two years and I have no idea who he follows on Instagram. Your behavior reeks of insecurity and he probably got sketched out and blocked you.
At this point, does it really matter?
Instead of having a mature conversation and answering your question, he goes off and acts like a 10 year old who got caught learning about his wee wee…childish, avoidant behavior (why do this unless he’s got some secrets he’s not willing to share), and a big red flag.