Wife (31) and I (32) been together for 12 years (married for 4 years). Since Covid, she’s been going through a series of difficult situations with parents and she also developed panic attack while in one of our holidays. Since then she hasn’t been able to take any flights. She also doesn’t really like neighbouring countries so any travel to these destinations, she doesn’t like the idea. I’ve been always by her side and make all sorts of adjustments to make sure she recovers and gets the help she needs. On most days, she appreciates me and tells me she’s lucky to have me.
A week ago I had to let her know about my upcoming work trip and she was fine with it. However, today she randomly brought up cruise to another continent which covers about 14 nights. I didn’t know how to react and I thought she wasn’t serious about it so I asked a few questions around what if she felt claustrophobic midway and how would she plan to come back? She said she’d take the cruise back without actually knowing the specifics I.e how long does the cruise dock at the port before it’s ready to head back? I also proposed going on a cruise that’s 4 nights to neighbouring country which she shot down.
She immediately went off and said she can find a friend to go with and that I’m not supportive at all. She also said I’m not being understanding because I get to go on work trips but she can’t because of her panic disorder with flying. I was obviously hurt when I heard this and hit back with all the things I’ve been doing to support her.
I explained that I’m worried about her safety and how she might not be able to tolerate being stuck on a ship for 14 nights let alone taking a return ship back… she still insists on fighting and insists that I let her go on her own.
What the fuck. Some days I wish I wasn’t alive
6 comments
Yep I hear ya mate. Let me know if you figure it out..
Why do you not want to go on the cruise with her?
I suspect she is a bit jealous of your ‘freedom’ to be able to avail of flights so is devising an exaggerated alternative for herself. Would she really go on it, or is she enjoying the attention and concern she has provoked? I think your offer of a 4-day ‘tester’ cruise is a wonderful idea – you could assess possible triggers etc, but you can’t make her go or not go. Maybe with time and good communication re concerns, she might agree. Good luck!
Claustrophobic…in a cabin in a boat in the middle of the ocean…ya I can see why ud have reservations. Set up a tent in the living room and sleep in it a few nights see how it goes. And if u catching shit for it just say the line I cant stand to watch you suffer and you only trying to look after her best you can
Is she going to therapy to overcome panoc attacks?
“She insists that I let her go on her own”. She’s a grown ass woman, she doesn’t need your permission. If she’s so convinced she’s going to be fine then you need to let her fuck around and find out. I truly think she’s doing this for a reaction and you need to act indifferent.