I woke up this morning feeling like absolute crap today and I’m fairly certain it’s COVID. I know I’ll probably be out of commission for a few days, which sucks because I just met this guy on Hinge and we planned to meet tomorrow for a date. I don’t know how to tell him I’m sick without him thinking I’m chickening out. I was thinking I could just flat out tell him and offer to just do a phone call with him, but I don’t know if that’s the best way to say this.
Any advice?
Update: just got tested and YEP it’s COVID. I’m going to see if I can’t talk to him when he’s on his lunch break, but I’m really not looking forward to it. I hate doing phone calls, but I’d rather not disappoint him.
Update 2: Thank you all for the advice! Since he was at work, I just texted him the news and even sent a picture of my COVID test results to prove that I wasn’t lying. He believed me and we’re hoping to reschedule for next week! I’ve had COVID once before and it only really lasted half a week. Not sure if this time will be different, but I’m fairly certain I’ll be fine by next Tuesday.
We also had a brief phone call. I’ll be honest, I’m super awkward when it comes to talking on the phone. Not sure if it’s because of ADHD or social anxiety, but I’ve just always struggled with it no matter who I’m talking to. And I wasn’t able to focus much due to brain fog and a headache, so he just asked a lot of questions and I answered the best I could. I apologized for being awkward and he said it was fine and he was happy to hear my voice, even if it was worn down a bit. I really hope things go well with this guy. I’m worried I’ll be super anxious or insecure about it, but that’s something I’m learning to deal with. This sub seems like a great place for advice for a newbie like me so maybe I’ll see you guys around!
43 comments
Just ring him and tell him you think you’re coming down with Covid and you want to reschedule for next weekish.
Honesty is the best option. If cancelling a date for legit reasons then you need be the one to suggest plans for rescheduling. It’s often seen as a sign of rejection if a date cancels and doesn’t offer to make plans to reschedule.
Nothing wrong with doing a phone call or FaceTime. That would be a good reassurance you’re still interested in a in person date.
My advice would be to definitely tell him you are sick and then actually reschedule by giving him a date and time. I see a lot of posts on hear where the guy doesn’t know if the girl is interested because she will have to cancel and then the guy tries to reschedule or the girl suggested something very general and not specific (like next week, sometime soon)… I feel like by suggesting an alternate day and time you can commit to, it shows your serious about wanting to meet.
Its okay if you reschedule plans. He would be an asshole to reject you over it. I find it difficult when people cancel plans without a reschedule.
Be honest. He might assume you’re lying and not want to reschedule. There’s not much you can do about that. But the best thing to do is just be honest.
Suggest another day/time you’d like to meet instead, don’t just ask “can we reschedule sometime” because he will definitely assume you’re blowing him off if you say that. Be specific.
“hey, I’m really feeling like dog shit today and getting sick, can we go to XYZ bar on Thursday instead? I’m sorry to reschedule on such short notice. I’d be up for chatting on the phone, if you like, but I just don’t really feel up for [whatever the planned date was]
Totally okay to reschedule but the onus is now on you to propose a future date for y’all to meet. I would say something like “Hi, I think I’m coming down with something and may need to get COVID tested. For your safety and mine we should reschedule for a later time. Are you available next week?”
Reschedule the date the same time that you cancel it. And check in so that he knows you’re not ghosting him.
Phone call, let him hear your voice, clearly and honestly explain that you truly are ill and that you are not playing a silly game with him and that you want to get together as soon as you are better. He will appreciate this more than a text which he could misread. He has to hear your vocal inflections and true intent. Use the phone and use your voice and be authentic. I believe you.
Cancel and then you schedule the next plans when you feel better. If someone cancels on me that’s fine, but I’m not the one to reschedule. That’s on whoever cancels. If I had to cancel “never has happened” then I would obviously reschedule.
You should make the effort to replan if you cancel.
Just be honest. And reschedule for a later time when you know you’ll be well, like a week ahead or so. If you reschedule he’ll know that you still want to meet him. Whereas if you just tell me him you have to cancel he might think it’s an excuse or that you aren’t interested.
Be honest and maybe show some kind of photo of a positive test? 🤷♂️
I would be specific when rescheduling and say when the best time for you would be so he feels sure youre not ditching him
Tell him you’re feeling really sick, it might be Covid and then offer some dates to reschedule. People who are blowing you off don’t reschedule.
Ask to FaceTime. This will lend you credibility, show that you’re home, and that you don’t look well.
Offer a tentative reschedule based on how long you’ll be unable to leave your place. A reschedule will show him that you really do intend to have a first date with him.
Finally, proof that your interested will be in the follow-up. Keep texting him, keep getting to know him, keep showing fascination. Ask about doing something alternative, like watching the same movie and talk about it on the phone as you watch. Get creative and keep his interest up in you.
Yea like everyone says in the comments let him know and this time YOU take the intiative to schedule a new day. Also.. I found that guys sometimes think you may be off on another day. Maybe take a cute selfie at home feeling sick and send it to him. This can build trust between you both. He can see you at your worst lol….and it shows he’s still interested without you all glammed up. Plus you’ll put his mind at ease about him worrying about you off with someone else!
I would call him (instead of just a text) and let him know you were looking forward to seeing him but really don’t feel well. Also, tell him you want to reschedule.
You call and tell him so he feels you are genuinely sick
Stick a thermometer in your butt and take a pic. Both kinky and proof that you are sick. It’s the only way.
Have a clear follow up date in the initial contact. Instead of just saying we need to reschedule say that this exact date and time works for me. Does it for you.
Ask to have a phone call and/or video chat instead. Actions speak louder than words and if you try to connect with him then he is less likely to brush you off as a flake
Here is what you do. Call him and explain the situation but have a reschedule date in mind. That is important. Most people who use an excuse to break a date either don’t offer a make up date or keep it ambiguous like “Hey, sorry I can’t make it <insert excuse> but we can try for another time.”
By offering a reschedule date it shows that you’re serious about meeting up but life simply happened.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0hlpctj0qs
Reiterate that “I know this prob sounds like an excuse but I’m feeling sick. I want to see you so can we reschedule for _____”
The only reason things sound like an excuse is because the communication sucks, and the other person makes no effort to reschedule or be interested
I feel it’s sincere if the other person offers an immediate reschedule. Like, “I can’t go on the planned date because of x. I really would like to grab y with you, though! Would a reschedule for z date work for you?”
Try to replan, just accept that he might not wait. Us guys are used to excuses like that not being legitimate
I am really curious to know why you’re so worried thinking about his reaction to a perfectly OK reason to reschedule a date. If he gets mad or thinks you’re getting cold feet, he’s not worth your time, OP.
Take care of yourself and get better soon!
You got 3 strikes. Then your out.
Men get cancelled on all the time, that said, a lot of times the woman flakes. I have no idea why it’s like that so be careful how you approach it. Before you tell him you need to reschedule tell him about the COVID, make sure to reinforce that you want to do whatever you want to do with him as soon as you are healthy.
He will probably check in on you, may even offer to leave soup at your door or he may go silent for a little while, if you are interested, make sure you take over being the one to initiate contact if he won’t.
Just be honest. A girl once said she had a stomach bug she said let’s reschedule exactly a week from our date. We met the next week and boom no harm no foul.
Just tell him you have Covid.
He’s not going to be disappointed. Shit happens
If you just met via SM then there is no reason for him to believe you are lying or making excuses
Make sure when you tell him you have to reschedule, you give a a actual date that you should be good by for the next one. Also send him your covid results if you want to 100% make sure he won’t think you’re making it up.
Ask him if he wants to be your nurse
First of all, you are not responsible for his emotional state. Just tell him you have COVID and will get back to him when you feel better.
*If he is such a big baby that your legitimate excuse throws him for a loop, would you want to date him in the first place?*
If you take initiative to reschedule vs making him do it it’s fine.
I plan the first one, if she can’t come, I accept some sort of suggestion. “How about X day?”
Since it’s covid… little longer time frame, have a pair of phone dates instead and then when you’re better ask about going on that date for X day
Do a virtual date instead.
We all want to be at our best on a first date.
If someone cancels with me but reschedules on the spot, I know they’re still interested.
Just tell him you need to reschedule your date, you got Covid and need to quarantine for now. If he’s actually interested in you then he shouldn’t have a problem waiting an extra week or two. But make sure you still talk via text or the app in the meantime, if you go silent on him, he will assume you are not interested anymore.
Or turn it into a virtual date, do a video call.
Honesty, and humility. Tackle the bear in the room, “I know you’re gonna think that I’m chickening out, and blowing you off. Nothing could be further from the truth! Can we try again once I’m over this crap? It’s definitely COVID, so it may be like 2 weeks, but I still really wanna meet you!”
Include pathetic pictures of you looking sickly.
Tell him ASAP. Text him if it’s more comfortable.
Tell the truth and put effort into rescheduling and get a new date/place/time set in stone. If anyone cancels on me and says they’d be interesting in rescheduling, but doesn’t actually take part in locking in another date, then I’m out.
Honestly just tell him you got COVID but you would appreciate if he would send you funny internet memes while you’re sick to cheer you up. Shows you want to stay in contact, doesn’t force him to make small talk, and he won’t feel like you’re blowing him off
send him a picture of the covid + test result and ain’t no one going to want to date you until you’re all clear haha
You can tell him you need to reschedule, and then make sure *you* follow up and reschedule.
The first part won’t sound like an excuse at first but not following up will then make it sound like the first part was just an excuse.