MFM threesome with best friend
So my fiancée (f) and I (m) have been discussing exploring our relationship/boundaries in a healthy manner for well over a year now.
We’ve talked about exhibitionism, going to sex clubs, threesomes and joining sex positive groups in our area. Initially we both agreed that exhibitionism would be our “stepping stone” into a more open lifestyle but recently we have changed our minds a tad.
I have a close male friend, around the same age as me that we have considered inviting to our bedroom. He’s attractive, respectful, super laidback and non judgemental. Both he and my fiancée find each other attractive and have said in the past they would hook up if they were single. He makes for the ideal candidate.
But my question is: is having a third, that is a close friend to both of us, a massive mistake? I’m not a jealous person so this doesn’t bother me (it excites me to see my fiancée be the center of attention), but will this destroy a friendship? I don’t think it will but I might have rose tinted glasses on. Would love feedback.
Another issue that pops into my mind is what my finance said to me the other night. She believes the best way to initiate this is to talk to him solo (without me) and then slowly initiate sex/acts, then invite me to join. This itself has made me a little bit weary as them doing stuff solo is a little outside my comfort zone atm. Is this an okay approach? Honestly don’t know if them doing stuff solo is the best. I wouldn’t be that surprised if I straight up asked him if he want join, he’d say yea, but my fiancée says that it might scare him off.
We are planning on doing this in a few weeks when we all are going out of town together and share a hotel room.
34 comments
Say goodbye to your fiancé!
Major MISTAKE! This won’t end well….
Oof, big mistake!
Her wanting to iniate things solo and then slowly introduce you isn’t how threesomes are done at all.
I am an older male that has also spent a part of my life as a therapist. I have not had occasion to work with couples that have these experiences that end up well. One or the other always seems to be the loser. You are entering into practices that have a high probability of eventually driving you apart.
Sounds like an awful idea. If you go through with this please provide the 6 week update
If you lack the ability to look your friend in the face and say hey I would like to have a threesome would you like to join? Then it’s not something you should do.
You shouldn’t need your girlfriend to basically hit on your friend and coerce him into having sex with her. If she has to do such a thing then that means he’s truly attracted to her and wants more than just sex.
The fact they have said that theyd bang if they were single seems to be something that might make things complicated. Her wanting to initiate things and then you joining makes things weird, If not downright terrifying imo.
Definitely done a few of these… all of them my partner and I were on the same page and it was completely unanimously consensual as far as rules and boundaries go… after we were good with everything then we would bring other people in to play, and it would always be talked about as all three people, in group texts or chats and actually meeting in person for drinks or whatever first time with no expectation. When it was time to play around, we always stayed together; no solo stuff…
The whole thing about her wanting to go off with him first is a red flag to me…
Go to a sex club or smth first
I don’t know your relationship, but it would make me personally feel a little weird to know my fiancée “would hook up with [my best friend] if they were single”. That’s something that doesn’t need saying and no, I’m not an insecure person. Unless you directly asked, it’s a weird thing to say.
But that’s beside the point, I suppose. If you’re going to have a threesome, ALL participants have to go in knowing what’s going to happen. He might not be okay with being involved in your sex life, and that could upset him a lot to be a bit ambushed with the idea all at once.
I’ve never considered threesomes and have no interest in them – but based on many posts on this subreddit, they can end badly when close friends are involved. If you’re sure about this person, talk to him first, he should be allowed the chance to mull it over.
Oh man, the danger signals are already there ‘Both he and my fiancée find each other attractive and have said in the past they would hook up if they were single’. This has the potential to go horribly wrong for you and I think you are starting to realise it. I’d be very wary. Hope it works out okay for you.
Please report back after it’s done. Then a month later
I think you should take it far slower than that
>Both he and my fiancée find each other attractive and have said in the past they would hook up if they were single.
>She believes the best way to initiate this is to talk to him solo (without me) and then slowly initiate sex/acts, then invite me to join.
They just want to fuck each other and they’re using the threesome as a smokescreen so it doesn’t look like cheating. If you’re cool with that, by all means proceed. But you don’t seem cool at all with it. I think she or they are taking advantage of your not being jealous. Very gross behavior IMO.
Do not proceed, this will not end well. Straight off the bat she’s already coming up with shady plans that make you feel uncomfortable. If you expressed your feelings and she still just continues trying to talk around it, yeah, fuck that.
Sounds good, make sure he doesn’t wear protection too.
How many of these posts am I gonna have to read?
You will regret it….
Disaster waiting to happen. They just want to hookup. They have already said they would if they were single and this is a way to get it done when they aren’t. She wants to initiate it on her own without you, big no imo. You may not be the jealous type but there is no going back after watching your buddy fuck your girl. I’d recommend someone who isn’t so close to you if you want a threesome, especially the first time. Be a shame to lose your girl and your friend.
Judging from everything you wrote this is a god awful idea
She’s monkey branching right under your nose, my man.
It sounds like the mistake would be marrying her.. How are they just casually admitting to you that they would hook up if they were single???
She’s telling you she wants to sleep with your buddy by herself if she hasn’t already.
I’ll wait for the r/tifu post
It really sounds to me like your lady just wants to fuck this guy.
These threesome ideas are never good if you’re not 100% committed, read about these all the time on here how it’s ruined their relationship or traumatised them.
Think bringing in someone you know is a bad idea, it should be someone who isn’t involved in your world that you have no attachment to.
Obviously you’d get to know them over a short period of time before it went down.
But the way she’s going about this doesn’t seem like you’re very involved in this ‘threesome’. And the fact that they’ve both said they found each other attractive and would hook up seems so strange no?
Instead this is going to be you watching your close friend fuck your fiancé whilst she’s having a great time, does that sound fun to you?
She wants to fuck him solo before they introduce you?
That’s a major red flag. Either open the relationship up or another rando M to join.
Suggestion: why not hire a sex worker? I think introducing your close male friend is a bad idea and will just lead to heart break and jealousy by the end of it. At least with the sex worker they remain professional and neutral to any feelings.
Good luck
Lol I have bad news for you, your fiancé should probably be demoted to ex , honestly her wanting to sleep with your best friend without you should tell you everything you need to know
Call off the wedding
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
They would hook up if they were both single?!?
Initiate sex acts without you then bring you in?!?
Sorry brother but they’re already fucking and trying find a way to make it ok.
I had a friend who invited me into such a situation. It happened a few times and all was good.
She was cheating on him within the year 🤷♂️
Oh buddy, just bow out gracefully. You are going to be the guy in the chair lol.
This girl is using you to have a sanctioned affair
I’ve never seen a car wreck before it happened until today.
Let’s see:
-A threesome with a close friend.
-Fiance and friend are already attracted to each other.
-Fiance want to have sex with the friend without OP first.
Yeah, I see where this is going.
!Remindme 3 months
This is a divorce/breakup in the making, she’s going to cheat on you with him either way
This was painful to read.
The good news is that when your relationship inevitably ends, you won’t need to file for divorce.