Hello Everyone! I hope you are doing fine. This is a long post, and I don’t even know if I’m in the right subreddit. Please proceed if you are patient enough to listen to my problems and help me out.
I am a 19M struggling in every part of my life.
**Poor working memory**: I can’t even remember stuff that was said just now. I struggle in remembering stuff for longer time. I often forget faces. For an instance, When I go shopping for a shirt and head to the dressing room, I wear the new dress and forget my original dress in the dressing room. I have to keep repeating what I am supposed to do. I forget where I kept my keys. That is how bad my memory is. I started maintaining a Todo list which didn’t help me either as I forget checking Todo list as well.
**Learning stuff**: I do get good grades in school. But people don’t understand that I have to work my a$$ off get it. I work 10x more than my friends to get a good grade. People who try teaching me have to repeat at least 10 times for me to understand. The worst part is that I still don’t understand some things even after people try to repeat them. I had to spend some time even after understanding something to get it. I take very long to learn stuff. I am going to a driving class for almost a month but still can’t drive properly while my friends managed to learn driving in a week. People say everyone learns at different pace but in my case, I feel like it’s very long.
**Self-awareness**: I am not aware of my current situation and my surroundings. I feel like I’m stuck and don’t know what’s going on Infront of me. For instance, let’s say something has changed in your room or the road you usually drive on. I am unable to find the difference or spot objects that have changed while others do it flawlessly. When people ask for my guidance to retrieve an object, they often need to direct me for an extended period before I can successfully locate and take that object from its place. I am afraid of everything as if they could hurt me. I do everything very carefully but still end up making mistakes. I don’t notice things properly; for example, there are times when I use something every day, yet I fail to notice certain features until someone else points them out. It leaves me feeling amazed.
**Decision making and problem solving**: I struggle to take decisions in my life whether it’s simple or complex. Problem solving let’s say math or programming (which I love) takes me ages to solve. I have to work hours to solve simple problems and learn them properly. I stay persistent in doing that cuz I love doing it. When it comes to decision-making, I struggle with making a choice and sticking to it. For an instance, When I cross the road, I find it difficult to stick to one decision. I often experience anxiety, which leads me to quickly go and come back, even if it is safer to cross. I usually rely on someone else to make decisions for me. Sometimes, this becomes dangerous when I drive because I find it challenging to make decisions in certain situations. Even if I am kinda good at something I often make mistakes in that.
**Self-control and focus**: I find it very difficult to focus on anything. My mind always wanders to different thoughts when I attempt to concentrate on a task, leading to constant procrastination and loss of interest.
**Repeating mistakes**: I am unable to analyze the mistakes I am making while learning anything. Even if I recognize that I am making a mistake, I struggle to take the necessary steps to correct it.
**Emotional stability**: I suffer from anxiety and fear in various situations, such as driving, when being asked a question, or when I get on stage to present something. I often forget what I am trying to convey and worry about it later. Additionally, I tend to get angry too easily. When I experience happiness, I get really excited, and when I feel sad, I become deeply despondent. My emotions seem to fluctuate between these two extremes. Even while walking or moving around, I frequently slip, accidentally step on objects, or inadvertently cause things to move. I struggle to build a habit as well. I experience brain fog, and as a result, people often have to repeat their messages to me over and over again. This can lead to frustration on their part.
**Time to think and process stuff:** I find that I think very slowly, which affects my ability to respond quickly in various situations. During conversations, I struggle to come up with ideas or replies, often getting stuck and finding it challenging to move on. When I watch movies, I usually have to replay scenes in order to understand it. Additionally, when something happens in front of me, I take longer to analyze and process information, which makes simple tasks like crossing the road or responding to situations difficult and slow. I am also slow at mental math and have difficulty calculating tips, ticket costs, and making change. I feel very embarrassed and cringe when I think about past situations where I failed to do something.
**Introverted and Shy**: I feel very shy and embarrassed when it comes to certain actions or situations. I feel comfortable and free to talk within my circle of friends, but I become reserved and hesitant when forming new relationships or expressing myself to others. It’s as if I am selectively extroverted, more open with some people but reserved with others. I easily get bullied as well. People often make fun of me and I end up crying and they call me weak ! When I don’t like something, I tend to only share my opinion with my parents or very close friends, out of concern that expressing my thoughts might jeopardize the relationship. It’s challenging for me to be open with others due to the fear of potential conflicts or disagreements.
I don’t know If I am diagnosed with anything or not. People in my country don’t take these disorders seriously. I feel like a total failure. I expressed how I feel here. Thanks for reading the entire thing.
What’s the solution to all my problems?