What do you wish you knew about marriage before you got married?

7 comments

1. that staying quiet can sometimes be a good thing.

2. I wish I knew truly what kind of woman my wife would turn out to be. Some people warned me but I didn’t listen. If I know then what I know now, I would never have gone through with it.

3. That having a bond with your spouse doesn’t imply that they share your brain or are an extension of you. They are an individual person, and that’s okay—in fact, that’s the POINT.

4. Cooling off space during an argument give everyone a chance to reassess their opinions (because it is very, very rare that one party is 100% right)

5. Pick your battles, no one is perfect and ruining a good day because someone left the sponge in the sink is almost never going to be worth it. Have empathy for your partner at all times, try to remember they’re probably not purposely trying to hurt you, and see things from their perspective.

   Of course this only works if your partner isn’t abusive. Sometimes people are trying to hurt you…so there’s some nuance.

6. Rehearse presenting everything in a positive light. It can be done. Instead of “We will run out of money in three months, to we have enough money to cover rent for three months. Follow that with the actions you can take to generate rent in the 4th month.

   Not going to solve any budgetary problems, but an adamant can do focus cuts off a lit of woe is me stuff and keeps the conversation on a track to progress.

7. You don’t need to agree to marriage just to not lose the person …