Doesn’t have to just be “I love you” but vocalised affection in general

-or for those who have been or are currently in a relationship with someone who has these issues, what is/was the experience like?

7 comments

  1. It’s like answering the question “how are you?”. It’s a reflex but I know I don’t mean it most times

  2. I have ASD, ADHD, and CPTSD. Expressing anything remotely affectionate/romantic is very challenging 🙁

  3. Some weird hang up about vulnerability I think. I can’t even say it to my parents either and they are good parents.

  4. Currently married. I still have a hang up about vulnerability and any signs of neediness from either of us triggers my flight response. My spouse grew up in a family that said it every day for mundane reasons and I think I heard it twice between relatives… we were a no affection household. When we first got together he used to mess with me and say stuff like “I love yyyy…Ugos! They were a stupid little car”. I’m still not very affectionate and we’ve figured out how to communicate limits.

  5. I experience this with friendships, usually romantic relationships are one of the few places I open up. I had a lot of emotional neglect and rejection growing up from family and friends so I think it groomed me into having an irrational fear of being vulnerable and also rejection? The outcome isn’t even bad if I do get rejected, it’s just like I internally get sirens going off if I attempt to do it. It’s weird.

  6. We’re very physically affectionate. I’m not sure why I can’t say ‘I love you’ as much as I want. I know I think and feel it deeply. I tell him during serious discussions when we’re working on things. But everyday in passing, it makes me feel (I can’t even find the word).

  7. Haven’t said that word in over 8 years
    Ps i’m 23
    Probably mistrust in humans, not being used to the emotional intimacy and straight up just being afraid of saying it and being heartbroken
    Hardest thing is no one gets it
    What i always hear is that I am an emotionless narcisstic manipulative asshole along many other things
    But thing is i just don’t want to get hurt and people don’t give you much to trust

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