me 24f and my ex 24f broke up almost a year ago, I initiated the breakup because I felt like in 4 years we haven’t made 4 year progress, the relationship was toxic from both sides I would say, and I did communicate literally everything to her, during our entire relationship when anything I felt was wrong I would try to tell her but she’d tell me “it’s late lets talk later” then she’d be busy all day and just repeat this entire thing it’s late we can’t talk I’m busy we can’t talk and I’d basically spend half of the relationship just waiting and if I ever get busy with my own shit I’d have to make time as sooon as she’s free. by the end of the relationship there was already a lot of distance she’d make a lot of comparisons between me and her, if I pointed out a mistake she did or something she did that annoyed me she’d say “well you did worse and I didn’t say anything” so basically it cancels out her mistake even though I’ve always told her to tell me if I ever did anything wrong so I can fix it but she never does she just uses them as ammunition later, her sister went through a divorce so she had been very busy dealing with family stuff and I fully understood so I also made myself busy, I played a lot of video games since when she was available she wouldn’t let me play so I can be with her, I met a girl and started playing a lot with since I never had gaming friends, so whenever she’s free she’d tell me to drop everything and give her the time she wanted when she’d never done that for me when I asked, so I told her you can’t expect me to change my routine around yours everytime yours changes, then she started being jealous of the girl I play with and would call her my new girlfriend when I literally would tell her about every little thing that happens with this girl like I’d repeat entire conversation. with time I started to actually develop feelings for this girl so I instantly told my girlfriend while we were in the process of breaking up, this new information made her focus on just that I developed feelings for the girl she had forgotten all the reasons I gave her about why I couldn’t be in this relationship anymore and I’ve been the bad person this entire time when I’ve done so much for her and for us, she still texts me every few months telling me I did her wrong and tries to confront me over the same thing and disregarding all her mistakes
tl;dr girlfriend didn’t appreciate me the entire relationship and when I asked for a breakup I was the bad guy because I had told her that i developed feelings for someone that I did not plan on pursuing
5 comments
It sounds like you’ve been through a challenging and complex situation. It’s important to remember that in relationships, both parties play a role in the dynamics. It’s unfortunate that your ex is blaming you for everything without acknowledging her own actions. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Focus on healing and moving forward from this experience. If her messages continue to bother you, you might consider limiting or blocking contact to help you find closure.
Block her. Why are you surprised your toxic ex continues to be toxic. Just block her, go no contact. It’s been a YEAR now you should both move on from the situation.
Of course she’s blaming you. It’s just an extension of the deflection that went on during the relationship. If she can assign all the blame to you, then she’s blameless and perfect in her own head. And if she’s blameless, then when she gets into another relationship, she can claim that her dating history is “clean” and you’re just a “crazy ex”. I feel sorry for the next person she dupes into a relationship.
As for yourself, the best thing you can do is block her everywhere and move on. You don’t need her drama in your life.
Just block her. You don’t owe her anything, and there’s no reason for y’all to talk. It’s prob good for her if you block her because she needs to move on. You do not have to JADE (justify, answer, discuss, explain). Her complaints against you are her problem/ not yours. She is the only one who can fix her problems and texting you blaming you for everything isn’t healthy for you or her. She needs to take some time for herself and do some introspection.
I dated a man for 4.5 years and almost married. He had a drinking problem and that’s why we broke up. I got really into yoga at the end of our relationship. He told everyone I was sleeping with my yoga teacher (I never did and my yoga teacher was gay). I confronted him about it months later when the rumor got back to me. Apparently, he had convinced himself that I was cheating because he wasn’t willing to admit to himself that he caused the breakup. He got a DUI after our breakup and he said it’s because I broke his heart.
Some people are just not good at taking responsibility, and they’ll go through great mental gymnastics to blame someone else. Once again, that’s not your problem. She needs to deal with that. Block her.
A woman blaming her EX for everything? Unheard of!