My boyfriend gets all awkward whenever a female friend comes up and says hi to him and he doesn’t introduce me even though I am right next to him… it’s just an awkward encounter. When I ask why he says they’re not friends but acquaintances, even though they have hung out 1v1, FaceTimed, had phone calls and shared deep parts of their lives. He says he doesn’t introduce me because she is not a part of his life now that he’s in a relationship and he doesn’t see the need to introduce me to people that are irrelevant to our lives. I don’t understand why he’d rather cut her off and end the “acquaintance-ship” than introduce me for me to feel safe and trusting and to show me there’s nothing for me to worry about. Even if he no longer wishes to maintain their relationship.
My question is: if I ask him if the reason is that he’s had sex with this girls and therefore it makes it awkward for him, do I have a right to know this answer?
It makes me feel unsafe in the relationship when these things happen. I’ve expressed it and said I need you to be honest with me about who it is so I can understand your reaction and awkwardness.
It happened with another “acquaintance” who told him she’s in town. At first he told her he can’t wait to spend quality time with her. Then she had left and said can we please meet next time and he said he can’t meet next time to not cause issues in our relationship (due to a past issue he caused with a fwb he met with behind my back years ago) instead of inviting me to meet her and all hanging out together. And since I found out about this girl he no longer speaks to her just ignores her messages.
On another occasion he said he barely knew the girl just met her once and didn’t introduce me because “he forgot her name and made him feel awkward to introduce someone he forgot the name of” to me.
I don’t care if you had sex with this person but don’t be texting and sharing your life and then when it comes to introducing me- “ the person is not relevant I’ll just end the friendship instead”.
(We have a history of lies and sneakiness on his part… it’s been a long time and overall I would say there has been a major improvement, but these moments trigger me and when I ask for reassurance and explanation I just get blamed for not moving on from the past and that it’s not my business)
Do I have a right to know? How do I navigate this…
1 comment
>We have a history of lies and sneakiness on his part
You need to stop and think about what kind of future you want for yourself. This isn’t about what you have a right to know this is about not being in a safe relationship and choosing to stay in it.