What are the key changes that made you more likeable/charismatic/sociable

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1. Ask people questions about their lives you genuinely want to know the answers to. This wasn’t a key change, but I learned by watching my mother.

   People love talking about themselves, give them a reason to!

   But it’s extremely important this comes from a real, genuine, kind place! If you don’t, it will show you’re being phony.

   Be you 😊

2. I’m a recovered awkward person. I no longer consider myself awkward beginning 2009.

   The first trait that changed is, I no longer carefully choose my words. In the past, I’d be afraid of saying the wrong thing. I also cultivated an image of being smart due to my shitty self-esteem.

   Now, I just say whatever I want. Granted, it has gotten me in trouble at rare times but the positives far outweigh the negatives. I feel when I’m verbally unrestrained, I’m more fun and people see me as genuine.

   The second trait is, I’m not afraid to interject when speaking in a group setting. While I was always OK speaking one-on-one, I sucked speaking in a group. I never felt I know how to contribute to a group chat. But now, I just jump right in and be assertive about it. Thinking back, I’m not sure why I was so reserved.

   For you awkward people, one last thing I wanna point out is, everybody has insecurities. Don’t feel like you’re the only one.

3. Stopped talking and listened. Made eye contact. Tried to be up on current info.

4. Getting married. It made me a “valid” person and boosted my confidence. Age and time help you. After a while, you’re not a newbie. You’re a veteran.

5. Not giving a fuck.

   Being busy. Having less to do looks like you’re a loser.

   Leaving while everyone’s still having a good time.

   Not trying. “Try hards” look desperate.

6. 1. Smile a lot.
   2. Ask a lot of open-ended and reflective questions.

   ​

   Smiling makes anyone seem more likable. Asking someone open-ended questions keeps the conversation flowing and everyone likes to talk about things they are interested in.

7. Go after what you want and be selfish about it.

   Be assertive and ask pointed questions when you get mixed messages from people.

8. I really recommend the book “the fine art of small talk by Debra Fine.” I especially loved the section where she writes about conversation “sins” which made me realize a couple things I was doing “wrong” even though I didn’t intentionally mean to. Also, just having the knowledge of social rules gives so much confidence that i’m not doing something wrong.

   One other thing I did recently, is make a list of questions I find interesting. I really love hypothetical questions rather than typical small talk questions…so having a list to ask people that I genuinely find intriguing helps me too.

9. Going from hating myself to liking myself a little more every day (WIP)

   I went from “I’m so unworthy of her affection” to “I’m not perfect but I’m a pretty good catch”

   And this change in mindset has altered most of my interactions. Romantic and friend wise as well

10. 1. Talking about my feelings and needs.
    2. Trying to understand people by showing general interest in them (so a lot of listening and asking)

11. I don’t know how to explain this but, I stopped caring what people thought of me as simple as that sounds. I hit a low point in life and realized I’m all alone in this world and nobody cares for me at my lowest. That might sound sad but, I turned it positive as now I can do whatever I want say what I’m thinking and do what I want unapologetically because I now know they never cared in the first place so why care now? It’s kinda freeing to realize.

12. Being honest to who I am definitely helped. I felt like I changed the way I spoke to fit the people I was around. Once I finally dropped the act and stopped caring for peoples approval, I was able to speak on things I cared for or I was more comfortable sitting in silence when I didn’t want to participate in a certain discussion. This weirdly has made people want to listen to me more and find me more fun to talk to.

13. Boxer-briefs. Oh, you laugh now. But when you look into the mirror and you feel like GSP; it’ll change your life.

14. As much as I hate to say it – smile. Smile when you meet people. Assume people are good and interesting when you meet them, and realize that mostly everyone is feeling just as uncomfortable as you are in normal social situations, and will be pleased when someone comes up and starts talking to them.

    I went from being very shy and quiet in HS to being smiley, chatty and extroverted in university. I felt like an idiot for the first few months, but it worked. Now it’s just my natural persona, and I don’t think I could go back to being that shy person even if I wanted to.

15. Stopped taking about my problems. Nobody wants to hear about other peoples sob stories and trauma. Don’t mention I have bipolar disorder, social anxiety, schizophrenia, ptsd and autism. I’ve been diagnosed with all of them by professionals, but nobody believes you can have that many things wrong with you or they are freaked out. I’m sure I’ll be down voted just for mentioning this here.

    I ask people about their interests and then actually watch/listen to/read their recommendations and talk to them about them.

    I try to have an upbeat personality and tell interesting but positive stories.

    Fake it till you make it.

16. Listening to others and genuinely responding to what their saying. Actually engage in the conversation!

    People love being heard and understood, but they also love learning and feeling connection. If you can balance finding commonalities throughout a conversation while also bringing your own personality that others can relate to, you’ll be much more likeable and easy to get along woth