Why does my wife take it personally when I want to sleep in the other bedroom? She always adds that I should just sleep there all the time. It’s rare I want to sleep in the other room and it’s mainly because she has work in the morning and I’m not tired yet. Maybe I’m hungry and want to stay up a little later. Wouldn’t it be easier for her to get a good night rest without me for one night? We have a great relationship, more solid than most I believe. Known her for 8 years, dating for 6 years and married 2+ years.
3 comments
Many couples sleep separately often and for many reasons. Just be sure when you are with her, you give her attention (and she reciprocates).
Why don’t you do your thing in the living room, then quietly go to bed with her when you are ready to sleep?
You might also want to consider trying to go to bed at the same time she does. An you get up early with her, maybe make her coffee, and work out or do your thing in the morning instead of at night? Might be good for your marriage. Just an idea.
It’s a social norm that you’re breaking. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong per say, but she might’ve grown up believing that happy couples sleep in the same bed. So she’s now probably thinking “is he not happy?” Or “will this hurt our marriage?”. It could also simply be an important part of intimacy for her that she doesn’t want to give up which is perfectly okay as well. I enjoy sleeping in the same bed as my husband. But I have sleep apnea and so we had to adjust, including me getting a cpap, to remain in the same bed.
Just continue talking about it and try and find a solution that works for you both.