My professional life (and stress) is all that I think about. Yet even before with a simpler job I don’t remember the last time I felt “content” and happy.
My professional goals are my only goals. I don’t specifically care to find a SO and settle down with a family and I’m in my mid 30s. I have not dated in years and honestly don’t care to.
I don’t even have hobbies anymore. I used to play video games, watch my favorite shows, read fiction. As a child would draw anime a lot. None of that interests me anymore. The only books I read are nonfiction for my career.
I have never cared for music so that’s not new to me. People ask me what my favorite band is and I just say Coldplay to mess with them. I don’t have a favorite band. I sometimes listen to podcasts about…. Surprise my profession… or current events and NPR. I don’t care for music.
I use to love traveling but even that has taken a seat back. I went on vacation in Europe recently and did not find as enjoyable as I normally would’ve. Just kind of…. Meh. So I’m not saving for any more future travels and will invest more
After work and on weekends I find myself scrolling Reddit and reading books for my career and that’s it. I don’t even own a TV or video game system anymore. I see friends as much as any other 30-something… so not too much but keep in touch with social media. But I also don’t care to meet new people.
I volunteer and workout regularly but it doesn’t give me a sense of joy or anything. I do it to keep healthy and to not feel like a complete waste of air (giving back to my community). I do not consider these hobbies.
My Testosterone levels are lower end of normal range, according to last panel. Nothing to get diagnoses with a supplement. I’m eating more protein.
I can’t just be obsessed with work and my professional goals but that’s really all that I care about anymore.
So is this depression? I’m not sure if I need help but it’s weird feeling like I’m just living to work.
3 comments
Maybe you are living a comfortable life and a daily routine. ‘Good times create weak men’.
Hey, I see you’re a BDR (or was recently).
tbh it’s really the only way to break into being an AE is to just kill it, and even then it’s not guaranteed in this climate. And given you’re over 30, I imagine it’s largely driven by a desire to ‘catch up’ in life.
I imagine you also understand the risk of a midlife crisis if your life becomes one dimensional. But nothing wrong with trying to play catch up for a bit.
“Normal” is subjective. “Happiness ” is subjective. I’m perfectly fine being home 99% of the time; and sure I could be more social, travel more, get sunlight more but that’s not who I am. I’m happy with my lifestyle.