For those of you who are still happily married for over 8 years, how do you do it?

2 comments

1. It’s because we focus on loving each other instead of focusing on stupid pretentious shit or always looking for stuff to be bitter about.

   It’s all about your mindset. I see posts on this sub about people being devastated cause of one flaw their partner has. If you can’t handle one flaw then marriage is simply not for you. You have to actually want it.

2. Yes to mostly all of the above. I wouldn’t necessarily call my income “high” relative to the area I’m living in, but we are definitely comfortable. That being said, those are only pieces of what it takes to make it work.

   Coincidentally enough, I was watching a video from a divorce lawyer talking about love and marriage and something he said about marriages that are working really struck home:

   **”Their joy pleases you”**

   For me, that’s a really big part of it. Respecting my wife, doing the little and sometimes big things that make her happy also makes me happy. Doing stuff whenever I can to make her life easier, simpler, more manageable. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing my wife smile as a direct result of something I’ve done.

   Granted, that means learning to communicate well with each other, learning to speak each other’s love languages, learning to surrender a small want of mine in favor of a big want of hers. For example, last Saturday, I felt that I needed to mow the lawn. However, there has been a recent family tragedy that is affecting her pretty severely and on Saturday, she just needed to get out of the house and be distracted for a while. So, we picked up another family member and spent a good portion of the rest of Saturday doing something completely unplanned. I will mow the lawn this coming Saturday. Sure, it looks pretty bad right now but with no HOA and we’re set back from the road so nobody can see, it was worth helping her feel better last weekend. Her joy brought me joy and that makes it all worth while.