Met this girl I use to talk to a few years ago again she has past trauma in rape and other stuff like that me and her never had sex when we dated in past from her wanting to take things slow. She txt me the other day to come over chill with her so I do we sat in car for 5 hours jus talking with a lot of silent awkward breaks during whole time we where in the car she kept going back from being close to me and backing up which had me confused of what she wanted I never try to rush things with her jus because of her past but she moved her hair out her face and turned looked the other way for a while exposing her whole neck to me for a while I go in kiss her neck then touch her boobs then proceeded to suck them she never asked me to stop she jus rubbed on my arms as I did it but when I tried to reach my hand to take off pants she wouldn’t let me…. Fast forward a day later she comes to see me she takes me a couple places then we back to sitting in car chilling great conversation like nothing happened the other day eventually she ask can she sit on my lap I say yea n she does we are in that position for like 4 hours with no conversation she just laying on me she would randomly stare at me ever so often and give me kiss on forehead and a couple pecks on lip then remain laying on me…. Does anyone kno what she could be trying to tell me if it’s not sex
3 comments
She likes you but isn’t ready for sex. You don’t need to have sex every time you hang out, sometimes we just want to make out
Since she’s never had consensual sex but she’s had trauma, it sounds like she isn’t sure how to proceed or may be internally conflicted for some reason. I cannot empathize with her here, I’ve never gone through what she has.
Take it slow, and next time ask her her desires and intentions. It’s hard to do once the heavy petting gets started, but you’ll need to at least ask her basic questions like if she is comfortable taking the next step. It sounds like she may be internally conflicted by wanting you to lead and initiate, but not being ready for what happens next. Tell her you’ll respect her boundaries, and you need her guidance for the most enjoyable makeout/cuddling or whatever she desires.
If it were me, being a go with the flow type of person, if I liked her, I would just be patient and go with the flow.
Not going below her waist/between her legs is a pretty common boundary in my experience. I’ve been with several girls who have had that stipulation. She will tell you, show you when she is ready. Just keep following her lead and be patient, because it sounds like that’s what she needs…