Hi internet strangers,
I’m a 30F, and I don’t do online dating. I was visiting a friend in another city a few months ago, and they were sick so I decided to go out and explore. I ended up at a bar and this guy walked up to me saying he really liked my dress, and then introduced his friend like Barney did in How I Met Your Mother (We will call him T M28). T was with his friend that introduced us and his friend’s gf. We just hit it off. The banter and chemistry were there, and I ended up going home with him. As I was getting in my cab the next morning he asked for my number.
We texted a lot and I go back home to my city and we talk on the phone and text for weeks. I tell him I’ll be back in town semi-permanently (I travel a lot for work) in 2.5 months. Well, I text him when I am back in town and ask if he wants to grab drinks. He said he started seeing someone and he would be too tempted if we met up.
Okay, I respect that. A lot actually. Well, that was 2 months ago and he called me Friday night. I had imbibed a little too much, and ended up going to his place. We had another good night. I do enjoy our time together. I was busy the rest of the weekend, and a friend kind of got in my head. So, last night I reached out to see what he was doing for the week and he said he was busy this week.
Me: “no worries”
T: “I didn’t say we are done? I just literally don’t have time this week.”
I don’t know why I had such a poor reaction, but I said something along the lines of “I feel like I was a second choice and that I don’t want to be a booty call. It was fun and great, loved spending time with you and getting to know you.”
Him: “I never said anything about second choice and I didn’t think you were a booty call, but it was very fun and great. I really enjoyed getting to know you too.”
I didn’t say he said those things, just that I was feeling a certain way.
My mom says I should not text him, that he can text me if he wanted to, and I sound like a psycho. She also said something I don’t understand about slapping the platypus around. Should I message him that I was just in my head and would like to hang out when he’s free, or just let it go? If not, I’ll just delete his number. If so, what should I say?
3 comments
You have a right to feel how you feel. I don’t think he necessarily did anything wrong either. I would just move on. Trust your gut, there’s a reason you sent the message in the first place
I think you should hang out if he texts you back. You clearly were not just a second choice hr just had a busy schedule with work etc. Give it some time and he’ll come around. A lot of guys do get attached after having sex dur to the bonding hormones released so if you keep doing it he’ll get feelings (I always do)
I’d give him another shot, why not? If it comes up just say you don’t know what got into you, or if you do just explain your line of thinking even if it’s silly. If it turns out to be off-base you’ll both have a good laugh and move on hopefully.