East Coasters, Are You Ready For The Raining Spiders?

33 comments

1. I purchased my flame thrower yesterday.

2. Oh, this is what they mean when they say the west coast is the best coast

3. I call that porch sushi.

4. All aboard the nope train to fuckthat-ville!

   Thank god I’m west coast!

5. Article:
   >are harmless to humans as their fangs are too small to break human skin.

   Wikipedia:
   >The bite is considered quite painful, but not life-threatening.

   Don’t know who is right, but have fun!

6. The lucky part is they sound like they can’t actually harm you, but I’m still gonna freak the fuck out when they start landing on me.

7. They keep the bug population down. And we got ALOT of bugs.

8. very upsetting news to even consider

9. Meh. They’re supposed to be harmless, and generally spiders are friends. I sure don’t want one on me, but I won’t be mimicking my friend who saw the photo from this article and tossed her phone across the room.

10. I know of a place where you never get harmed

    A magical place with magical charms

11. Gonna sit outside with a case of beer and a flamethrower

12. I work at a summer camp, and we just tell the kids it’s open season on an invasive species. They love to smash stuff. It won’t solve the problem, but it won’t hurt either.

13. *confused screaming*

14. > Andy Davis, author of the study and a researcher at Georgia’s Odum School of Ecology, tells Axios that it isn’t certain how far north the spiders will travel, but they may make it as far north as D.C. or even Delaware.

    Oh thank god.

15. [Nope Nope Nope](https://i.imgur.com/kLOdq.gif)

16. You know, I was planning on moving back east this spring. Maybe I should hold off…

17. Yes! I hope they come to Delaware. As a kid, I was always scaring my mom by carrying bugs (no matter the size) inside to show her.

18. The real fun is walking into one of their webs because the webs are pretty big.

19. Im fine. My wife and kids… i haven’t talked to them about it because they will not be fine.

20. Laughing in Mainer… winter is good for something it seems

21. No thanks.

22. I’ll be excited if I see any but it seems Maine is well out of their range for now.

23. My parents have these things in their yard already. The webs are gigantic and the silk is a lot stronger and harder to remove than regular spiders. Fuck em

24. Makes me think of Charlotte’s babies.

    Not the same, but in the fall, it’s not uncommon to see orb weavers dropping from trees throughout Southern CA – once at Disneyland I saw one drop to right above someone’s head. Those Halloween animatronics are getting better and better. 😉

25. So long as they kill any unwanted critters strolling through my apartment they can hang round year round

26. The spotted lantern flies have gotten out of hand, send in the giant spiders.

27. I heard they kill stink bugs.

    I *hope* they kill spotted lanternflies.

28. Axios is like a news slot machine. You click that link and know there’s a 99% chance you’ll be directed to clickbait, fearmongering, garbage, and a 1% chance it will be an actual news story about an important topic. Guess which category this article fits into?

    To summarize, these *horrifying creatures*:

    1) Are expected to continue spreading, as they have for over a decade.

    2) Will cause minimal to no ecological impact.

    3) Are harmless to humans.

    4) Parachute around on their webs when they are tiny, adorable *hatchlings* (Just like many local species).

    According to the article, these are other reasons we should be “Oddly Terrified”

    – They’re *brightly colored*. (Ohhh!)

    – They travel in shipping containers. . . . like *every other invasive species ever*. (For some reason, they bring up Bubonic plague here. Probably because the author is a moron.)

    – They have life cycles and are born at certain times of year, and grow to adulthood at certain times of year. (Umm, ok).

    – They’re named after a creature from Japanese folklore that shapeshifts between a woman and a spider (So does my wife amiright? But really, cool fact, but terrifying?)

29. 3 years ago I was driving around my town with the top off on my Jeep. An acorn fell in through the roof and hit my leg. I thought nothing of it. A few seconds later I looked down to see it was a ball of tiny bugs crawling all over my leg. They were smaller than ants. I freaked out and pulled over running around like I was on invisible fire. My wife laughed and my daughter was scared. Haven’t taken the roof off since

30. Jesus God we get about 500 of these fuckers on our property the past few years. Pray for me.

31. No please no

32. FUCK OFF I HAVE ARACHNOPHOBIA THE PICTURE SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME

33. The fear-mongering in this article is infuriating. They literally compared these spiders to the bubonic plague…..