People are so weird in what they consider positive socially. For example just the way you speak, like the rhythm and pitches of your speech can greatly affect your social life, and stuttering, and the sound of nervousness, and having trouble coming up with topics, all of these can affect things
Why are people like this?
2 comments
What makes any of the examples you mentioned weird and/or unintuitive? That makes it sound like for those examples you’d expect the opposite effect, which sounds weird to me.
You’re right, one of the biggest factors of success is being able to demonstrate confidence, which is closely linked to self-esteem and the sense that you’re bringing something positive/valuable to any interaction. I don’t necessarily think that’s weird, if anything it tends to be fairly consistent.
So those other things you mentioned: how you speak, rhythm/pitch/tone, nervousness etc. are all things that (generally) show other people how confident you are in yourself. (and there’s always a danger of taking that too far and tipping over into arrogance, which is a very unattractive trait.)
But there is definitely a sweet spot where you approach people with confidence and self-esteem, people pick up on that immediately, and things tend to go well.