Hey guys,
I’ve been reading a lot about productivity and simultaneously, evolutionary psychology/biology.
Interestingly, it seems that the main things everyone focuses on day to day are driven but subtle yet ever present fundamental human motives.
Do you think the following categories represent the fundamental areas every man should master in order to become “successful” or “high value” lol? If not, are there any you would change or omit completely?:
Health (sleep, nutrition, activity, hygiene)
Security (financial security, physical security, order, routine, possessions)
Connection (family, friends, community)
Respect (competence, strength, virtue)
Mate Acquisition/Retention (finding and keeping a wife lol)
Parenting (having children and passing on life lessons to the next generation)
I’ve simplified them somewhat but that’s the basic framework. They must be constantly attended to and one is not necessarily more important than another.
Each can be viewed as somewhat subjective or malleable; for example: the competence in respect can be viewed as competent in one’s profession or competent in another form, yet the core value we want from this is respect from others. Strength can be viewed as the opportunity to pick up a hobby such as martial arts or something else, but again, the core value is respect.
Does this seem correct to you? Thoughts?
Cheers!
13 comments
I would simply say that success in any given thing, over time, only makes you realize how much it doesn’t make a difference
It comes down to two things: work and love. You want an occupation that you are reasonably happy doing and that can fund the things you want for yourself. And you’ll want a person to share it with as you go through life. A best friend, lover, confidant. If you’ve got those things covered, you’re doing well.
That nothing about knowledge or intelligence is in the list is sufficiently damning that I wouldn’t bother listening to anything the author says.
you just need to be happy and be a good person
Your question is unanswerable. High value and successful are two different things. Success is a personal thing, what one perceives as their own success. Being high value means others perceive the person as successful. The two often align, but it’s not a requirement.
Health is wealth , you’ll spend your best years in a building. When you could have been chasing the sun with all your might.
Anybody with *success* is just a salesman. They sell the idea. But years later they guys that broke their backs , did just that.
Hair grays and falls , your heart has this anxiety of making another buck.
For the best quality in your own skin , I’d say Health.
Be rich, handsome, and charming.
My main drive is happiness. If I by any chance get successful on the way, so be it. There are many points in your list that directly contradicts the lifestyle of some people who are still high valued in their community or are successful biology-wise because they procreated, but are neither considered successful or high valued in their culture (e.g. Deadbeat Dads).
There is no such thing like a “must”.
Your social skills and relationships are going to dictate your entire future. So, focus on professional relationships and continue to develop your social skills. This will keep you out of trouble and leverage your position into the type of life you want. You most likely won’t figure out what type of life you really want until after 30.
May I suggest that you read something about sociology too, to balance what you have learned from evolutionary psychology/biology?
These disciplines are often misused. They postulate that nature “want” you to behave in a certain way, the way that is best suited to evolution, and that most of that is in your genes.
But it miss the point where we live in incredibly complex political and cultural societies that inform much more than our genes how we behave and what we believe.
Exemple: “mate acquisition/retention”. What crap is this label frankly?
I mean love and romantic bond, and for some people, having children are some of the greatest experience life can offer for sure, and absolutely something that is worth attending to and putting a lot of energy into.
But can you find happiness or success about that if you approach it with the idea of “acquiring and then retaining” a “mate”? I doubt it. You would miss the whole point of it.
I have a bit of trouble articulating my concerns here but I’m honestly worried that you read too much into litterature with strong ideological slant that may in turn makes everything harder for you.
I often read on reddit comments from some people, young men I assume, that I know as long as they hold to these believes, nothing will go the right way for them.
If other readers see the same things as I do but can articulate better, that would be great.
My categories are health, finance, family, and beer. Those are literally my only priorities in life. If I’m relatively healthy, financially stable, have a happy wife, and drink beer every day, to me that’s success.
Accountability. Be responsible. That also means be mature/tough enough to admit when I let someone down, or was wrong. And then, apologize.
Also, to be able to balance strength with empathy.