I (F25) have felt so lonely for the past couple years. Started when I left high school I had tons of friends but now I’m down to two who I rarely see and speak to because of how busy they always are. This has also been affecting my relationship. I tend to get sad when my bf goes and hangs with his friends all the time. He’ll usually ask me what my plans are but because I don’t really have any friends I typically just lie and say I’ve got plans just to make him feel better. This has made me feel like a burden to him, I know he knows he’s my only friend and I’m sure that’s a huge weight on him. I just don’t know how to make friends, I have terrible social anxiety and am constantly overthinking every word that I say to people to the point where I now try to avoid all conversations. I never imagined being lonely could be this debilitating. Anyone have any advice on how overcome the social anxiety/ make new friends.
3 comments
Chicken and egg. Friends are usually the reward for having friends already. Start with being a friend to yourself. It’s so much easier to attract people when you have some natural and genuine enjoyment of life in you. It can be like starting a fire with wet wood, very difficult, but so many things in life come when you don’t need them. Trying to fill a void by using others tends to drive them away.
Also, the loneliness you describe is something that has plagued people since forever. Single, married, kids, colleagues, friends – many feel lonely despite having all of these. The best people have come up with is to distract themselves by keeping their mind and feelings off it or to widen their acceptance of this fundamental loneliness.
It’s what’s expressed in the concept ‘we are born alone, we die alone’
I only have two friends right now, but in high school i had way more friends. Its hard to hang out with them because we’re all busy, but we try to hang out as much as possible once we’re able to, and im very happy with my two friends because its much easier to make plans with 1-2 people than 5 ppl. And regarding your partner, im not much help because im not in a relationship, but id assume if hes your bf, you should be honest with him… have a chat with him.
You have BF. You have somebody. So you’re not lonely in this manner of speaking. This is something that a lot of lonely ppl can’t even dream about. Head up.
And DON’T lie to your boyfriend. It’s really nasty habit. You could hang out with your BF more often or hang out with him and his friends.
You can also meet some new ppl online. Trust me, it’s good idea. If you were aby to get boyfriend then you are able to make friends.