My brother’s wife is away and now he’s calling me to “do something”. I managed to put him off until tomorrow.
Thing is I don’t know what to do and I know just hanging out won’t be enough. The other day he asked about restaurants in my area. I took him to a place I order from and he was clearly skeptical. Thing is I don’t like spending money eating out because I already spend too much ordering. I don’t want to see any movies. I don’t play any sports. In fact I don’t do anything with my spare time other than bounding between books, youtube videos and some games. I mentioned this to my therapist and she says it’s fine. But clearly it’s not.
Why should I be responsible for someone else’s entertainment? My brother is in his late forties and ten years older than me.
5 comments
Board games. Could aldo try local multiplayer computer games.
If you don’t want to spend time with your brother, you don’t have to.
If you do want to spend time with him, you could give him a few options of things that you want to do(not things that you think he wants to do). Offer options that you will also enjoy, otherwise you’re just going to be miserable.
or
You could let him know you’re happy to hang out but you’d like him to choose the restaurant or activity.
Well, then fix that. You are the product of your actions and choices. If you want your life to be more fun and exciting, then it is up to you to make that happen. You have to actively take part in more fun and exciting activities. You don’t become fun by doing nothing and resenting others who do have fun.
If you want others to be around you, then you have to exhibit reasons for them to be around you. People typically gravitate towards fun and exciting people. You have to be able to exhibit to people that they will value and enjoy being around you.
Why do YOU have to come up with something? Tell him to come up with it and you’ll join in. It’s his crowd, right? Or, does he mean you need to come up with ways to entertain just HIM?
Doesn’t he have friends?
This sounds like a conversation that would be good to have with your brother. Just be honest and talk to him, he may just be trying to spend time with you. Ask him what he wants to do.
But definitely just tell him what you’re thinking.
I’m also confused how/why he was “skeptical” of the restaurant?