Hey married men,
I’ve recently tied the knot and moved in with my wonderful spouse. We’re adjusting to all aspects of married life, including sharing a bed. One challenge we’ve encountered is the inevitable nighttime gas. I know it’s a natural thing, but it can still be a bit awkward.
I’m curious to hear your experiences and advice on how you navigated this aspect of sharing a bed with your spouse. How did you both get used to it? Any tips, funny anecdotes, or wisdom you can share?
38 comments
Y’all got married *before* moving in with each other?
Was that a cultural thing or something?
Play a game of battle farts
It’s only awkward if you make it. If you can’t freely let one go with your life partner….
My wife and I sleep in separate rooms because we do not sleep well together. I like it cold and I snore and she’s all knees and elbows while she sleeps. So I can just let er rip.
Embrace the intimacy of farting in front of the one you love. It’ll free you.
It wasn’t really anything to adjust to. It’s a natural body function and so it’s to be expected.
When you marry someone, you marry everything about them and when you live together and especially share a bed, you have a level of intimacy where you know about and deal with things with each other that are generally private and personal. That’s the nature of an intimate relationship.
It’s happens after I fall asleep, so I make sure she is sleeping first
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Me and my wife were sharing a bed and were already comfortable farting in front of each other already before we got married. We both just fart when we have to. It’s just a funny sound so we chuckle and then roll over and go back to bed
We just loudly blame the dog, even when she’s not in the room
Apparently I do it in my sleep. Usually the next morning she just says “you farted on me last night”. To which I apologize and thats about it
Introduce her to a game of Turtle. You start by both getting completely under the covers. Then you spring a fart and the first person to stick their head out from under the covers is “the turtle”.
Honestly, some rips just slip.
But if I’ve had a few beers after dinner, I try to sit on the toilet before getting to bed, try to let those beer bombs out hard, then do a quick clean up or even a short shower.
Me and my women sleep naked and inevitably there’s some sexy times.
Dutch oven ing your new lady isn’t super conducive to sexy times, freshly showered is.
Let er rip tater chip 💨
What’s awkward about farting? If it sounds funny, laugh. If it sounds like a duck, blame it on an imaginary pet duck. Personally I like to blame it on the baby. Or sometimes I point at my wife and yell “you did it” when I fart.
For real though… What’s awkward?
We agreed to do our best to not fart around each other… but if we do, we apologize and just laugh. At night it’s the same thing, do your best and if farting happens, it happens.
How have you married someone you havent farted next to, in bed with, and even on? Good luck.
At first I worried about such things when I started dating my current partner, then one night he let one go that was so loud my daughter sat up the next room and screamed ‘James!!!!’ After that, there wasn’t really any awkwardness and we just joke that he’ll never hit that level of fart game again lol. If you always have to be suppressing your farts, what kind of relationship is it even?
So, I basically fart around the house whenever I need to fart. My wife isn’t as gassy, but she goes the same. I try not to do it where it will drift into anyone, but I don’t go to the bathroom to fart either.
By the time we go to bed, we are generally farted out. I shower at night, so sometimes I get a few out then, before bed. Otherwise, if something comes up during sleep, who cares? My wife will also occasionally fart in bed. Sometimes I give her a hard time, but only for shits n giggles, not because I’m actually offended.
I try to be courteous with my farts, but my wife is used to my blasting powers by now.
She has always been very modest, but after 13 years of marriage, she will rip if she has to.
As I like to say “the couple that farts together stays together”. My wife and I have been blessing each other with gas since we started dating as teenagers. It was either have bloated tummy aches or let her rip. We both chose to let em rip.
You married someone and you haven’t lived together. And you feel weird farting around them? Do you even know this person?
I honed my Dutch oven skills to stealth mode.
This is not a regular issue in our house – like a nightly occurrence. If one of us is gassy, we apologize. I try not to fart in bed if she is awake, btw.
I wear a sound muffling diaper to prevent the sound from escaping.
My husband and I look at this differently.
He likes to fart loudly, similar to the sound of a rocket ship taking off, and he laughs his ass off at how grossed out I get.
When I do fart around him, we both act as if nothing has occurred. 🤣🤣
My wife farted once at night and I divorced her the next day. I advise you do the same if it ever happens.
My wife denies that she farts while sleeping. I just agree with her. It makes things easier. 😂
Last year we were on vacation with her family, and I spent the day eating pork, chicken, beef and tacos. I ripped a foul one and she got mad and went and stayed in her sisters room for the night. So, yeah pretty good
My gf let’s go of the most smelly farts imaginable. Always a reason for a lot of laughter.
I like to stick my ass out from the covers and fart away from her. Like a gentleman.
Her and I have been living together 5 years and this one going on 6 will be our first one married. I’ve always been a bit extra gasy, my metabolism is crazy fast so, I eat, I’m tooting within the hour and some of the times they’re way worse than others. If/when I’m tooty at night I get up and fart in the door way of the room and air it out. I guess one time I farted in my sleep and it woke her up from a dead sleep. She thought one of the dogs shit in the room and when she couldn’t find dog shit, she ripped the blankets off of me afraid that I shit the bed. I did not, BUT, that cemented the get out and fart over there 😂
My wife has gastroparesis, and causes the most face-melting wind sometimes. When I first met her she was embarrassed, so I just started farting in front of her. Now in our late 30s, we laugh about it. Even have the odd competition.
Not a married man, but I’m married to the king of gas LOL we’ve been married 10 years, together 15…one of my favorite things about our marriage is that we just fart when we need to and often joke about it…im sure some people are horrified, but i think if you just get over the embarassment and recognize this is a normal bodily function and literally everyone does it and needs to do it…BTW, if you ever have kids and she is able to push a baby out, she will more than likely poop while she’s pushing, among other things you will see during the process…my suggestion, just relax, it’s just a fart
You don’t get the ass if you can’t handle its sass.
My wife has a dump truck for a butt. I wasn’t ready for the noises that come out of it but yea after a while I just got over em
If I have gas, she says, “eww gross, are you rotting?!”
If she has gas, I make a retching noise and run away.
It works pretty well for us.
TBF I’d never marry someone i couldn’t fart in front of.
My wife has literally farted while I was going down on her. Full on crop dusted my beard. And let me tell you, it don’t just breeze on by. It hangs out like an unwelcome houseguest. I have seen that woman give birth, vomit, poop, wiped her ass for her after her endometriosis surgery, cut her toenails when she was too pregnant to reach them, thrown out her snotty tissues when she was sick, shaved her armpits after she had to have stitches in her hand from an accident. And you’re worried about a little gas while sleeping? You are not ready for marriage.