No guy has ever made me orgasm

17 comments

1. Show or tell them what you need. Unfortunately, the more it’s bothering you, the less likely it is to happen. I know, it sucks.

2. My question,what have been tried and what your comfortable doing? And have any trauma?

3. Try to communicate what gets you there more openly with them or try girls. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

4. Are you able to on your own? You gotta communicate with the guy on how to

5. Bring toys into the bedroom. Guys can do a lot of things but we can’t vibrate.

6. I’d stop masterbating for a start, just for now. And I find the best orgasums happen when I’m laying on right side, right handed, and he is penatrating me while on his knees like dogy style. Your right leg should be between his legs and your left leg up in the air and I rub my clit with my right hand the way I like. He may need to lean a little to make sure you have full access to your clit. He also needs to be able to last and make sure your ready to orgasum. This may take some practic to get the potion right so don’t give up if it fails the first time. The guy needs to realize you just need to figure it out together and if he’s got a bad attitude going in it’s a guaranteed fail.

7. With orgasms, the more pressure you put on them to happen, the less likely they are to occur. They only happen when you are completely relaxed and actually ENJOYING yourself. So don’t put pressure on yourself to get them to happen.

   Also, do you know how to give yourself orgasms easily? Because if you don’t, you can’t have that expectation of others. If you do though, all you have to do is communicate what you like and “teach” your partner how to get your there.

8. I think I can help. My fiancée was similar to you, couldn’t come with partners. She has ADHD, so focus was an issue. She also takes SSRIs, which complicates orgasms in general, partner or no. And then compound that with her whole adult life of being unable to orgasm with a partner, so she was very self conscious and overthinking it. She also only comes in a specific way (vibrator, legs mostly closed). Her sex life before we met was her hooking up with the guys she was dating, waiting for them to leave or going home, then masturbating by herself. It was incredibly frustrating for her.

   What worked for us was a couple of different things.

   First off, we talked about it, and removed any “pressure to orgasm” from our sex life. As much as it’s an ego boost when you can make a woman come, sometimes the pressure on her to come can prevent it. So we removed my ego, and thus the pressure on her. This enabled her to just relax, enjoy the moment and feeling good. I even left a few times to give her some space so that she could orgasm alone.

   Second, we reduced distractions. Music, TV, etc. Just the two of us, focusing on our bodies. This really helped with her ADHD focus issues.

   She masturbated with me. First just present, kissing her neck, caressing her body and thighs. She was able to come that way, and then we could have sex with no expectations of orgasm. We then got used to her using her vibrator while I fingered her (she had never had a “blended” g-spot + clit orgasm before, blew her fucking mind).

   Finally we built up to partnered PIV orgasm. A blindfold the first few times helped, plus me just keeping a smooth steady stroke, and her using her vibrator. Cumming together was the fucking best, a great reward for all of our efforts.

   She now cums 100% of the time we are intimate, one way or another. We either get her off before sex, or get her close with vibe + fingers and then get into PIV. If for whatever reason she can’t while we’re fucking, hey, I’m a gentleman… just because I’m done doesn’t mean *we’re* done, so I will finger her or do whatever she needs while she uses her vibe.

   *

   So hopefully that provides a little bit of a roadmap for you and your partner. You probably won’t get it right, right away… and that’s okay. It really just comes down to his efforts, and your comfort. And communication, and lack of expectation. When you’re ready, it’ll happen. A good first step is probably just masturbating together though.

   Anyhoo, good luck, and have fun!

9. I would set a goal!

10. Wow, tough customer! I hope you find a guy who can get it done for ya. That’s no way to live. 

11. The key to an orgasm is inside a person’s head. Perhaps you can try a session when you are more relaxed or when your mind is not as focused (a bit tired, tipsy, or under the weather).

    If your mind is focused on what you need to do the next day, what you should be doing instead of having sexy time, etc. then it would be difficult to finish. You might be masturbating after you have everything lined up which allows you to finish on your own.

12. I had a FWB woman who couldn’t come. She had come, but no man had ever gotten her there. I devoted an entire afternoon to massaging her and exploring her. I eventually showed her her anterior and posterior fornices, which she didn’t know existed and no man had ever taught her. After a couple hours of oral and fingering those, she finally came with the strongest orgasm of her life (including since).

    You need someone to take their time and explore together.

13. Not their responsibility to “make” you orgasm. They’re just there to help

14. Try taking the goal of orgasming off the table. Have sex knowing you aren’t trying to orgasm. Focus on what feels good to you, take it super slow, do what feels good for him, communicate to him what feels good to you, use some luxe lube, and just have fun! No pressure for the end goal to be an orgasm. Playing with one another. Use the other as their own personal masturbatory device. Simple sexy fun as long as you both are down for it.

15. You have to make yourself orgasm, at least to a point. Touch yourself or use a vibe during sex. Show him how to touch you. Guide him when he’s going down on you – more of that, softer, harder, faster, up, to the right, etc.

16. Worry less about the result. That’s how you have an orgasm with a guy.

    Find something erotic about a guy, a tattoo, their watch, their clothes, personality, etc. focus on just enjoying the moment, get out of your head.

    Then you need to find a guy who actually cares. Harder to do with a pickup, easier with a FWB. An striped/escort would be paid only for you so if it bothers you that much, go that route.

17. 1. Find a guy who really cares about your pleasure and orgasms. There are guys who love to make women orgasm, you just need to search for them 😊

    2. Speak a lot with him, share your kinks, fantasies and fears. Give him the chance to learn what turns you on and what triggers your arousal.

    3. Take your time, dont have sex with the goal to orgasm, and dont feel bad if you dont orgasm after he tried to make you orgasm.

    I have a strong kink for female orgasms, and i made many woman orgasm the first time with a man. Its not about special techniques. Its all about passion. Letting her feel how much i care for her orgasm, how much it turns me on, even motivating her to masturbate and tell me about her solo orgasms. And nevet preasure her to orgasm, eating her out for hours and telling her that she doesnt need to cum at all, just relax and enjoy. And at one point, she really starts to relax, and suddenly the orgsam happen! Sometimes it happened at the first date, sometime it took 1 month. The key is to really care, but dont be disappointed or make a woman feel bad for not cumming.