No, I am not asexual, I am just a sexually normal guy (30M). But I don’t have any interest in romantic life, marriage, love etc. I love to stay alone since my childhood. I love to preserve my personal space. I have fear that I will lose my freedom if I get married. I am not a lovable person as well, so I don’t want to destroy someone’s life. I am socially awkward. Every woman deserves better than me so why should I marry. But I can’t tell these complex things to my parents. So, I have came up with an idea that what if I tell them I am asexual, in that case they can’t force me to marry. So, I can live my life happily alone without any problems.
29 comments
Wow! I loved your idea man! I am stealing your idea, don’t give me copyright strike! I was also finding excuses to skip marriage. Thanks.
1. You have some work to do, in regard how do you view and think of yourself.
2. You are a 30 years old man. Just say no, what they are gonna do, ground you?
That sounds like a horrible idea. They will ask follow-up questions that you will be unable to answer. One lie leads to more lies.
Explain to your parents that you don’t feel ready and want to work on yourself first. Practice the conversation with chatgpt if you have to. Explaining the truth should be easier than defending a lie.
There’s not just Asexual, you could be Aromantic or on that spectrum.
I’d say you haven’t met the right woman yet and just tell them that. Let them think you’re picky or complain about how you can’t find a good woman.
You should also talk to a therapist. Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to about anything who won’t judge you or criticize you. Someone you can pretty much tell anything to without worrying about the repercussions of letting them know that.
Dating sucks and if you’re happy by yourself then there’s nothing wrong with that. But it really sounds more like you don’t think you’re worth dating or being with and that’s a problem. I promise, there are women who’d love to have you in their lives. Do you realize how abusive many men are? The simple fact that you’re considering their feelings shows that you’re a good man. Be proud of that.
Asexual doesn’t mean that you can’t marry. You can marry even if you are aromantic (have no romantic feeling) there are many marriages out of convenience.
Just say that you don’t want to marry. Tell those complex things to your parents, it is less complex than trying to explain them asexuality (especially if they have seen you being sexual, like looking at naked ladies).
Do you live with them? How can they force you to marry? There were a lot of forced marriages where one was miserable and there was no love between. Asexuality won’t protect you from marriage.
As an asexual person, that would make me feel weird. Have you considered, though, that you might be aromantic?
I’m totally cool with girls saying they’re ace to get a creep to leave them alone, but to use my sexuality to… get your parents to leave you alone? That’s a little ridiculous.
You are a grown 30 y/o man, how on earth can your parents force you to get married? You don’t need your parents permission or approval for anything. Live your own life.
Go to a therapist and sort out your life and emotions I have a feeling you have some stuff your not dealing with
Reading your comments, you say your parents are the only people who genuinely love* you…
*Although this love seems conditional (we will only love you if you get married).
My parents want the same for me – they would like me to get married, have kids, settled down.
Those are things I do not want. Despite it being against what they want for me, as long as I show them I can be happy without those things, they will respect my decision even if it’s something they don’t like and won’t pressure me. That’s what love should be – they should just want you to be happy.
Now I’m speculating, but do you feel you are happy with your life? Without any external factors? Are you happy?
It seems like there are many things you are not happy about yourself, so your parents may be suggesting marriage as an option for you to feel better about yourself. There are many other ways to achieve happiness, I think you need to find what those are for yourself. And when your parents see that you’re happy, they won’t pressure you any more because they can see you can live the way you want to.
Don’t make up a lie, it’s not worth it trying to keep up the lie. It will take a mental and physical toll on you. You will also be playing with your parents trust.
Work on your self worth, work on learning how to live yourself. Seek professional help if you need to.
They want you to have a relationship with a girl. Don’t lie to them and try to search for a gf.
Very confused, didn’t you post something about your girlfriend two days ago?
Why do you give a fuck about what your parents want you to do? Tell them to mind their own business.
dude you’re a grown ass man, why are you letting your parents run your life
Plenty of asexual and demisexual people are happily married. It sounds like you’re aromantic—uninterested in romantic relationships. It seems like you could be in a relationship in the future after working on yourself and building your confidence. But if you want to close the conversation, say you identify as aromantic.
Also, they can’t force you to get married. They can’t force someone else to marry you against your will and their will. You can say “no” to dating, a proposal, an arrangement, or at the alter. You have every opportunity to *not* get married. For any reason, including “I am entirely uninterested in having a romantic relationship or a life partner. I feel secure in my independence and I am happier alone.”
You posted two days ago that you’re 23 and now you’re 30 lol
How did you age 7 years in two days?
The reason for your parents wanting you to get married is probably less to do with sex and kids per say and more to do with their worry what will become of you once they pass. If they are the only people that love you and they are not there, they probably fear you’ll be lonely and won’t be able to take care of yourself. Telling them you are asexual is only half the equation.. assuaging their fears of you being lonely and you not being able to take care of yourself will probably be best in terms of getting them off your back
As most asexual people can attest, being asexual does not save you from people trying to force you into a relationship. This likely won’t help. But the good news is that you are an adult and they can not force you to marry anyone, so just don’t.
Also side note, is it possible that you might be aromantic but not asexual? It’s hard to tell from the way you speak if you just genuinely don’t have romantic inclinations or if you think a relationship would be too much loss of freedom/worry you would be a bad partner, as these are separate things. Regardless it might be worth exploring if you could be aromantic.
Who are they going to *force to marry you?*
I don’t get what they can even do here they can’t make someone fall in love and marry you.
This is none of their business you should tel them to get out it.
you just have to be honest and tell them, you’re a grown ass man if you don’t want marriage and kids that’s your business.
If you don’t want to get married. That’s okay.
If you don’t want to be with someone. That’s okay.
If you don’t want to have a romantic life. That’s okay.
If you don’t want to give up your freedom. That’s okay.
What’s not okay, is lying to your parents and yourself.
Be honest, is the way to go. I’m a (F) 29
30 years old? Grow up what the fuck.
Telling the truth seems more normal than your asexual idea.
hey for everyone’s information, this dude has a post from 2 days ago that says he’s 23. don’t know what the lie is but something smells fishy
Lmao what the actual fuck
Fake post, OP was 23 2 days ago lmao
This is depressing af
Grow a couple and tell your parents to leave you alone.
Getting married these days is a financial death sentence.
ALL guys loose their stuff and have to pay alimony even if she cheats or some other way is the problem.
Dont do it bro.