Houseshare Creepy New Roommate Advice?
Hi AskUK, so it’s almost 1am and I’m sat here in complete silence so the new housemate does not know I am awake. Basically 3 bed terrace turned into a 1 bed flat downstairs (mine) and two bedrooms upstairs. I have been here 3 months and another girl 1 month. Today we got a new housemate tall big stocky dude who said hi in the shared kitchen and all seemed fine. A few hours ago the girl upstairs text me to say he had just stopped her and told her she’s a “hot bitch” she laughed it off and texted me omg guess what. About 2 hours ago I heard him come out his room and could hear him outside of her door, I text her and said stay in your room. She then got a note pushed under her door from the dude saying open your door. She’s upstairs scared to death and I’m sat in my room quiet as a mouse. He is sat at the top of the stairs outside her room and has been there almost 2 hours.
Our landlord is now on holiday and has his phone off, do we call the police? I mean what will they do other than have a word and then what if he got violent because we called the police.
He has been here not even 24 hours yet and I have no idea what we are going to do. I’m paying 700 quid for this place per month. Sorry for the rant and thanks in advance for any advice.
40 comments
Have you not got that one mate you can call who will come round just incase
How close are you with the other girl? Send her a text to join you in your room or hers. Safety in numbers.
Personally i would call the police non emergency and report it as danger to others safety
Call the cops! He’s mental! And not in a feel sorry for him sort of way. He’s a bad dude!
Call the Police, and get him removed from the property. It’s night one and he’s sat there for 2 hours demanding she opens the door for him. This will not get better and he’ll escalate unless he’s removed from the property.
Call the police as discreetly as you can. An take notes of the situation.
If you need a burly man to scare him off let me know
*UPDATE* I have just called 101 and told them what’s going on. As it’s not an emergency they gave me a log number and said to ring 999 if we are in immediate danger.
He’s a clearly creepy dude! He hasn’t spoken to you, nor knows you know he’s sitting there and sent a note? Bar the quick hello in the kitchen that’s your only engagement, right?
Could you (only if it’s safe and you can get back to your room quickly if needed) come out of your room, act surprised, and ask him what he is doing? That might be enough to get him back into his room (a shame tactic almost). Obviously, only do this if you can have quick and immediate access to your room or feel comfortable enough to do so.
Especially as the police won’t do anything currently and you can’t reach the landlord.
This is horrifying. Stay safe.
*UPDATE* He has left the stairs now after 3 and half hours or so and has gone into his room. Hopefully he stays there for the rest of the night. Thank you to everyone that commented tonight. I will update tomorrow. I will stay awake another half an hour of it feels safe I’ll try and get some sleep.
Wow OP that guy is super creepy and to be behaving like this after one afternoon is all kinds of red flags! Glad your housemate has someone coming over and definitely make sure doors are locked when he’s around. Speak to the landlord first thing and hopefully they can give him the boot sharpish- can’t imagine they’ll have issues finding someone new at the moment with how the rent market is! Hope you’re both safe and able to get some sleep!
100% confront him, with other people (at least someone that can leather him) and tell him he needs to go. That shit he pulled is alarming from the hot bitch comment to the note under the door. Did he knock her door first and she ignored it or did he just slide the note under the door? (Not that it matters, just curious). None of that is normal behaviour and it’s fucking insane that you informed the police of his actions and they didn’t send someone round to check on you and remove/talk to him.
Tell your landlord to grow a brain and not have mixed sex accommodation where no one knows each other.
Tbh id have rang 999 as she was in immediate danger with a strange man outside her bedroom wanting in and waiting wtf are the police playing at? Couldn’t they have called and gave him a warning even
Time you all got together and watched shallow grave.
Or call the police and say you’re in danger.
Maybe the police option is better.
This is a creepy read
Confront him in the morning preferably with some friends Incase he goes maniac on you get him out that’s serial killer behavior
Let the land lord know also
might as well call the police and explain and ask if they can send someone round and/or ask for advice
Amazon sells door stop alarms. I use them when I travel and with my mom’s dementia. They look like a doorstop & their alarm is scary loud.
you should have called 999 as soon as your housemate told you she was in danger, please for the love of god, CALL 999 if something similar occurs!!!!
Unfortunately, house shares attract some of the biggest weirdos in society. My ex partner lived in a few over the years, in one lived two young Slovakian women who would sleep with multiple men a night whilst sniffing drugs and playing techno till about 5am. Another had a 3 polish alcoholics that drank around the clock. As long as rent is paid, the landlords literally couldn’t care less, it’s all about money
Damn this dude pulling out his A game right here. Let us know what the conclusion is. Hopefully you can get him turfed out.
In the interim you both should have a safety plan. When in danger the best place to flee is not the kitchen as you’ll be more at risk of getting hurt by weapons. Keep your phone on you and charged at all times. Have a safety word planned with someone incase you need to discreetly call for help. Usually no contact is the best way to deal with abuse/stalker behaviour.
The creep has boundary issues, to say the least. I wonder if he has special needs and needs to be told about his inappropriate behaviour. Either way your personal safety comes first and it sounds scary to approach him.
Please message the landlord too and both you and the other housemate should leave the property over the weekend with a bag and some of your things. Tell the landlord that you do not feel safe and give the evidence and explain you’ve been in touch with 111.
The landlord needs to get someone to evict/remove this person asap. I don’t think it’s safe to be around this person. We can only speculate but it seems like this person is an incel who is dangerous to be around. Please don’t go back to the property until he’s gone.,
Call the police, which you already have done, so they’re aware of the situation. Tell your landlord as soon as he’s back and demand he speaks to this guy to tell him not to be a creepy fuck, and tell him to leave. I’d also confront Creepy Fuck with the other girl and other people if you can – I’m aware you’re new in the area but don’t let him know that, or that you don’t have a lot of people around you. Make him think you do by confronting him with others if you can.
Please stay safe. I would definitely see if there other girl could sleep in your room, or you sleep in hers, until the situation is resolved.
Act crazy if you need to. Seriously. Bark like a dog, rant to yourself, whatever. Crazy women freak men out. I remember reading something a while ago about a woman who was being followed by a man so she started talking to herself and barking, and he walked away in the other direction. I know this isn’t the same thing as Creepy Fuck is in the house but it could be a deterrent to him hanging around if he thinks you’re unbalanced.
Who manages the property in the landlords absence? Is there some kind of agent you could contact? I really hope you are both ok this morning. Please keep us updated.
I would leave the house and get a hotel until this guy is gone. He sounds like a grade A psycho!
Classic HMO behaviour
Are you ok now?
This is awful.
Hope you’re okay this morning.
This feels like an emergency as you were both trapped in your rooms, please log a complaint against the police and consider pressing the police to take this further.
Really hope this guy is removed asap.
This is all very bizarre behaviour. I don’t know about anyone else, but I couldn’t just sit there for hours with no stimulation. He must be either totally obsessed with her or have literally nothing going on in his head.
Can you also contact the landlord and explain that the new housemate is behaving like this and you feel very unsafe ?
How are you OP? This sounds terrifying!
I once moved into a shared house (luckily with my boyfriend at the time) and on the very first day we were unpacking our stuff in the kitchen when this guy came stumbling in and started telling my boyfriend how he could dispose of my body if he got tired of me (cutting it up and putting the pieces in bin bags – it was pretty graphic). I spent the next two days in our room because I was scared to go out on my own and encounter him, then I told the landlord because I wasn’t prepared to live like that and he came and evicted him immediately. If your landlord is reasonable, he’ll tell this arsehole to leave (not least because he won’t want two tenants to leave because of him). Hope you can get hold of him soon.
RemindMe! 5 days
So sorry this happened OP, hope you’re okay this morning and managed to get some sleep. You said the landlord is on holiday but keep trying, leave a voicemail and try WhatsApp as they might have WiFi wherever they are. Make sure you tell them that you called the police, it shows that you’re serious.
There’s some generic advice on the Shelter website here but they might be able to give more advice if you call them. https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/problems_with_housemates
Do what you have to do to be safe. Keep calling the police and make sure to tell them you feel like you’re in danger. Keep calling till they send someone. Probably best to have it logged, even if it just means they take it more seriously when someone else complains about him in future. When you speak to your landlord, I’d get together with the other girl and say you’re both leaving unless he leaves. Easier for them to find one new tenant than two.
u/-TORDUP- Are you guys okay this morning?
Do your doors have locks on them? If they don’t landlord needs to install them going forward, even after creepy dude is booted out.
Phone the police and get him lifted.
If they don’t show after 10 minutes phone again and say there’s also a little girl pointing out that someone looks like their nan who happens to be a lesbian. They’ll dispatch 7 policemen officers in a flash.