Ladies who wanted to get married within a specific time range (i.e 2 years) of dating, how did you explain your relationship timeline to your partner?

4 comments

1. Before we were even officially boyfriend / girlfriend I made sure he wanted a marriage + kids the way I do.

   He’s more of a go with the flow personality whereas I am more of a planner. I asked him his ideal timeline for kids, and it generally lines up with my ideal timeline.

   I mentioned one day, maybe 9-10 months in, that I had a timeline for an engagement in my head. He wasn’t even part of the conversation but popped his head in and asked what it would be. I told him and he said that worked for him. Then he followed up asking what kind of rings I liked.

   The conversation seemed really natural because we’ve transitioned from talking like “if we get married” to “when we get married”, or like when talking about kids it’s no longer “my/ your future kids” it’s “our future kids”.

   In general these big conversations have felt very natural. It’s also important to understand that your partner may have a different range in mind, and you may have to compromise.

2. I thought long and hard on my “why” so that I could clearly explain to him when I wanted to be married by and why it was important to me. From there it was all compromise and continued touch bases (every 3-6mo or so) to make sure we were still on the same page.

3. I simply came out and said it. I’m not dating just to date and have fun, I’m dating because I want to get married. If I were to be compatible with someone, I would expect to be engaged within two years with a wedding soon to follow. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll move on.

   Thankfully the guy I was talking to also had that attitude about dating and we’ve been married for a few years now. If it scares the person off, then IMO they weren’t the right one.

4. We started living together last July and although we had been talking about marriage in the future it was all “if” we get married. In august I told him if he didn’t know he wanted to marry me after a year living with him, I would like to go separate ways. He proposed this April!