I (22f) am a Virgin and started masterbating only a few months ago. Idk why I get the impression I’m doing it wrong. I lay face down with My knees sort of spread apart and push my pelvis into whatever I’m laying on while squeezing my buttcheeks. Since I’m a virgin, idk if this is bad for when I actually start having sex since I don’t want my body to get used to a single way of finishing. before I discovered this method I tried massaging myself in all the spots but it just doesn’t work if it’s my own fingers.
the issue I’m most worried about is that it doesn’t seem to work unless I clench?? idk how sex actually feels when it’s with someone else but shouldn’t it be a little more effortless? is this going to make it harder for me to finish when I find a guy??
thanks!!
22 comments
Sounds like you’re kinda dry humping stuff. That’s the first way I had an O tbh when I was like 13. The act of it probably turns you on, since it’s kind of related to sex, you’re physically having something else touch you to get you off. Maybe that’s why fingers don’t work. I wouldn’t worry too much about it though. You’re just young in your sexual journey.
>is this going to make it harder for me to finish when I find a guy??
I hate to say it but yes, if this is the only way you learn to get off then finishing with a guy will be harder. If you get used to coming from clitoral stimulation in a variety of positions then you’ll have more options with a dude and that’s basically what good sex is about — finding something you BOTH really like and then doing that.
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Source: I had a girlfriend who could only come like this and it was definitely a limiter to the things we could do. Specifically, the fact that she would only orgasm facing away from me in a single position kind hurt the intimacy, and effectively penetrating someone who is face down with their butt clenched requires a totally hard and decently long penis.
Not me trying to get into the position while reading this 😭
Yes, I think you will get ur body used to it. I’m kinda the same, but I can’t cum unless I point my feet down lmao
Yes, you are correct, this is not a good way to masturbate. It can make orgasming with someone else impossible. A loose fist is best. Even if you thrust into it.
This is known as “grinding” its a perfectly fine way to explore your body, it will not make future sex more difficult. Most if not all women start with this, and then migrate from toys, to fingers, and such.
Have fun exploring your body, do what feels good.
So fake.
My understanding is the main thing to avoid is overuse of vibrators, which can cause desensitization over time (kind of like guys who can’t come due to death grip masturbation).
Face down humping my pillow is my favorite (and the easiest) way to cum. But I’m also able to cum from oral and fingering and PIV sex without any clitoral stimulation. And those other ways take maybe 5 minutes longer, maybe. So no, you aren’t ruining yourself or making it harder to cum other ways. You’re just learning about your body, the more you explore and learn then the easier it will be for you to finish with someone else
Kind of impossible to say whether or not it will make it difficult for you to cum with a partner – but I don’t think there’s a “wrong” way to masturbate. If it feels good, do it. When you have a partner, then you can and will explore new ways to experience pleasure. Worst case scenario, at least you know how to get yourself off if you have a difficult time with partnered sex.
I’ve been masturbating this way since I was too young to know what it was called and that it should be done in private (thanks, mom for not shaming me!). I literally did this nearly every night from like age 6 onward till college to help me fall asleep. I’m now 41 and have been married for 20 years and have never had an issue having orgasms with a partner.
Man this took me back. Pillow humping is fun.
So the big thing that was a game changer for me is pretend you’re drawing a circle with your hips, if you need to bring your knees closer together. Its a smoother motion and great when you introduce toys.
But just go with what’s comfy. Drink water. Listen to your body, if something hurts and not in a good way stop and make a note. But honestly looking at porn for women is also great visuals to try. Bellesa_com
/r/syntribation is the place for you.
Edit: Oh sad day. The sub died. Well, anyway, you can Google it. It’s the term for what you are doing!
I would love to help you out without you loosing virginity unless your ready, but whatever you do don’t use vibrators it’s okay if you do but in the long run it will damage your sensations to your clit making it very difficult to cum, no joke I accidentally came across that article
Orgasms aren’t easy for a lot of women. Some never have them (and that’s ok), some can’t have them unless the stats align perfectly. We are each unique. It takes time and experimentation to find what works for you. If you have found a way that works you will figure out how to adjust it when you find a good partner. A bad partner won’t work with you to figure it out. It’s a team effort. Find a good teammate and you will get there.
Not sure exactly, but I’ve been doing this for years and haven’t had any negative effects from it
Nope, your body won’t get used to it to the point it changes anything. I masturbated like this for a long time before I got more toys.
Highly recommend getting a wand. The true “magic wand” is my favorite.
Girl. I was humping bicycle seats as early as 5 😂 and bed sheets. I don’t like specific pressure either. Broad pressure is good. And whatver feels best for u. Is the way to do it. I think squeezing ur but cheeks activates ur pelvic muscles. Which can bring u to the O. As seen below pointing feet down for some actives pelvic floor muscles and increases pressure which feels good. So just do what feels good okay
You should consider looking up porn. Like “lesbian mutual masturbation” that might be helpful
I cannot reach an O through PIV it’s happened maybe 3 times my boyfriend is fine with finishing me off with a vibrator and his fingers and even then it takes Atleast 30 minutes and he has never once complained moral of the story is there is other ways to get off and that is okay
There is no right way to masturbate. It’s awesome to know what feels good in your body!
But if you get off the same way every time, your body will solidify that wiring, and it’ll be more difficult to cum other ways.
Touch yourself with variety, and find the pleasure in it even if it doesn’t make you cum. Layla martins new podcast, episode 4 is geared toward men, but the explanation and practice suggestions can be done by women, and it’ll blow open your sexual experiences.
You can absolutely make that work with someone else ! Maybe with some slight modifying but if the other person is up for it you can lay on them (on top) and grind him (or her/them) (while being penetrated) with your legs like along his legs ? Not sure if that makes sense but when you get a partner who you trust you can experiment with positions.
You can also do the same thing your doing and the other person can be on top of you from behind.