Title sounds horrible, maybe it is, but let me give some context:
Me(30f) and former friend (31f) became friends when we were around 17-18 years old. Former friend is gay, and it was always kind of an open secret she had a crush on me. Obviously, nothing ever happened, and it was never a big deal.
Fast forward to 25-26, our friendship starts dwindling as we don’t have that much in common anymore and our lives are going in different directions. At this point, I also meet a guy who will end up being my husband. I’m clearly infatuated with him and super excited about our future. From there, on multiple occasions she would bring up how “a lot of women don’t realize they’re gay until their mid-twenties” and she always “thought I might end up being gay” (no clue where this would come from as I had a very active dating/love life with men exclusively throughout our friendship). She also implied that my (now) husband doesn’t seem like a good fit for me. It made me uncomfortable, so I stop putting effort into the friendship which turns into us not talking for the next 4 years.
Since then, she began calling me a few times around 8-10 months ago and I genuinely forgot to get back to her. Now she calls me at least once a month (to this day I have not answered a single call), will text me and DM me on social media. If I respond at all, it’s only via social media DM and very dry. She even asked me if I changed my phone number and my only response was “No, I didn’t”. I know “ghosting” her wasn’t the right call but after genuinely forgetting to return her call a few times, I started to get weirded out and now I’m uncomfortable with her continued attempts to reach out when there is zero reciprocation from my side.
How do I politely ask her to stop contacting me as I’m not interested in reigniting a friendship with her? I’m married, I work full time, go to school full time, have my own social circle and am in the process of building a house. Being politely distant has not worked and I need to close the door on this.
1 comment
You have 2 choices – block her and/keep ignoring her…or flat out tell her the truth. “I don’t want to be cruel just honest…over the years we have grown apart, and my life is really busy/hectic/full of friends and family that i see regulalry – and although im honored you even think abiut me enough to reach out, I don’t have the time or interest in chatting every month. I’m really sorry if that hurts you, that is not my intention. I just feel like the regular calls aren’t necessary”