What is the best way to make yourself take care of yourself despite being depressed?

16 comments

  2. Small stuff.

    No energy to wash yourself? Just stand in the shower and let the hot water flow – even without soap it’s gonna wash away some of the grime.

    No motivation for working out? Go on a walk, even if it’s just around the block. Leave your phone at home (or in your pocket on silent and listen to some nice music or podcast).

    No motivation to cook? Find convenience food that isn’t just junk food. (That one widely depends on your location of course – not everyone has the same access to stuff like fresh fruit and veggies.)

  3. I don’t think there is a ‘best way’ but rather lots of little things that can make a difference cumulatively. And this may initially not seem important but the use of “make yourself” might fit with a depressive mindset – a bit harsh/demanding to oneself. (Speaking from experience.) So personally I would humbly suggest moving towards “encouraging myself” or “inviting myself” in a gentle and kindly way. This can be more successful as it may not feel as much like a task that you HAVE to do.

    Helpful activities and ways to initiate them vary from person to person but, for me, things that help me care for myself include (in no particular order):
    – imagining myself as someone else (someone I care about) – it can feel easier to be nurturing towards others. This increases my chance of self caring.
    – treats while keeping it REALLY basic (and the more depressed I feel the more basic I mean). For instance, having a shower can feel immensely hard when very depressed so I might make a deal with myself that when I manage it I will treat myself afterwards (the treat might be to give myself permission to sit and do nothing for a while afterwards, make myself a cup of tea, or buy that small thing on Amazon I’ve had my eye on). This is a bit like self-bribery but works!
    – making a list of what matters to me and where I’d like to be in a year’s time (nothing massive so it’s not overwhelming) as a motivator for the next point…
    – deciding to take a small step towards feeling better, while knowing it may not immediately ‘fix’ things. (Like the saying, “what’s the best way to eat an elephant?” – “one bite at a time”!) Reminding myself that every small step helps and moves me forward
    – enlisting the support of friends/loved ones – they can motivate me to feel worthy of self care, and sometimes doing nice things together helps. Double bonus! For example, I went for some short walks with good friends when my mood was dropping. If it had just been me, I know I wouldn’t have gone when the planned time came. But knowing they would be meeting me, I didn’t want to let them down and so went. It lifted my mood a lot – both the walking and the gentle social aspect.

    Basically, the above fit with behavioural principles and this approach has been shown to be effective – but it is important to understand that it can feel counterintuitive! Many people think they will do something ‘when I feel better’ (understandably). With a BA approach, the idea is to start doing things (in a small, gradually increasing way so it’s not overwhelming) BEFORE you feel like it – and your mood will gradually improve. So basically the opposite of what feels natural.

    Wow; I didn’t mean to write such a looooong reply! 😂

  4. The 5 minute rule. If something takes only 5 minutes to do, do it now.

  5. Make yourself get outside for a bit. Set a timer if you have to for like 15 mins. Bring a blanket if you need. Increase the time each day.

  6. Build what me and my friends call an ‘emotional pharmacy’. Know the things that make you feel good about yourself, whether that’s helping a friend or tidying your home. Also things that feel like you’re doing a nice thing for yourself: making your favourite food, taking yourself to a movie etc. Sometimes is helps to write a list of these things so when you’re feeling your lowest you can look at the list for help.

  7. Set yourself an alarm, same time every day – be reasonable with the time you set (8 or 9AM) GET UP OUT OF BED, and have a shower.

    Go outside EVERYDAY for at least 30mins, even if all you do is sit in the garden, or walk around the block.

    If possible try working out. The endorphins really do help with depression

  8. This is more of a personal story than a suggestion, but for me, it was getting a puppy. I was lonely, isolated, and dysfunctional, I hardly ever even left my house back then. I thought she’d be a comforting companion. Instead she became a damn drill sergeant.

    Depression sleeps? Gone. That dog woke me up at 4 am to potty every fucking morning from the time she was 3 months old. Keeping the blinds closed to hide in my depression cave? Shithead ripped them down barking at the mailman. Too depressed to clean? Too bad, either I kept my stuff picked up or I got to chase her around the house and pry it out of her demonic jaws. Laying around all day feeling too miserable to even contemplate exercise? Dog would stand there and bark in my face until I got up and walked her. She needed her daily 1.5 mile hike, and she would *torture* me until she got it. She made my life hell.

    I regretted getting that dog more times than I can count. I wanted to give her away but I couldn’t face the guilt and shame. I knew her bad behaviors were my own fault and that I didn’t deserve her. She loved me anyway.

    I think she might literally have saved my life.

    She is 8-years-old now and I’m not depressed anymore. I wouldn’t have made it this far without her. Thanks, baby girl.

  9. let yourself feel the emotions of being depressed but just know there’s a limit. if you spend too much time feeling the emotions you dwell in it and become too comfortable. the moment you feel yourself slipping too far, do something you love or talk to someone you love and do whatever it takes to feel like you love yourself as long as it doesn’t harm u or anyone else

  10. Little bit of weed always gives me anxiety and I have to get up (I don’t smoke it just eat tiny amounts of cbd edibles with little thc) also if it’s not too bad of a bed stuck I’ll put on upbeat music or make a phone call to a friend just to chat and I’ll starting neeandering around the house. I’m personally motivated by socializing, so talking on the phone or walking to the corner store and saying hi to the lady who works there will get my mind moving away from self- pitty or nothingness thoughts. 🙂

  11. My bf telling me I deserve it, it reminds me that I do infact deserve to look/feel nice every so often, I make sure to keep my favourite soaps/lotions etc on hand so that when the urge strikes to have a mini spa day I don’t have to go buy anything etc. Also doing it together! We’ll do days when everyone gets a haircut, skin care and what ever else. Even my 7 year old son loves this! He’ll stil on the sink getting his buzz cut done and help me with nail polish etc. Then we’ll snuggle up with a movie on the couch after.

  12. pick one thing out of your routine that you feel is the most important to you and just do that one thing even if you fail to complete any other task. Something specific Fir me it’s to brush my teeth. It can be anything tho like brushing your hair or drinking a glass of water, sometime the hardest part is initiating the first task and you’ll end up picking up some momentum but even if not it still feels better accomplishing one thing. Taking care of yourself is crucial to climb out of that pit which is p sadistic bc it’s the hardest thing to do in said pit but if you want out you gotta put up the fucking fight.theres a clip off the Duncan trusstle family hour podcast that slick helped me a lot I think it’s just called Duncan trussel on battling depression

  13. healthy pleasure seeking like comedy, crafts or whatevs, patience and kindness.

  14. Just go out and sit on your porch every morning in your PJs. Get some sun!

  15. Buy a shower gel that smells like coconut or vanilla or any scent that you like

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